An Update: 11/17/2014

An Update: 11/17/2014

Ummm, I'm not even sure where to start this one.

My mom and I were out Christmas shopping yesterday and started talking about blogs and things.

Me: I'm just so tired of seeing video after video and blog after blog doing these super glamorized photos and stuff. It's like- I'm shooting every damn thing I do on my iphone and it's not even a GOOD iphone. I literally dropped it in water and now it sucks.

Mom: Oh I noticed that. All the photos look like a magazine.

Me: I know! And it's everything! It's mommy blogs with well-dressed children, and makeup blogs with perfectly clean, untouched palettes and girls who look like they just woke up in this magical land of beauty. (insert angry coffee sipping). I hate my life right now. I'm really hating the comparison problem right now. I go on facebook, instagram, whatever- and because everyone posts all these beautiful amazing things it makes me think that they have these amazing lives- and I'm the only one living poor, unmarried, and childless.

Then Mom laughed, and she laughed pretty hard. Admittedly, I was being super weird and basically explaining the complex that's come into my life and when it was said out loud- I realized how stupid I was being, and even I had to laugh.

So here's why I haven't posted lately:

My anxiety and depression have been really insane lately. 

That's really it. I wrote a long-winded post about what exactly is happening, but a) I don't think it would be a good idea to post it and b) I don't think it's really going to do anything helpful.

I'll just sum it up:

Sometimes, without explanation, I'll turn into a recluse, a hermit, a Sasquatch in Canada. It's mostly because I'm feeling really sensitive and it makes interactions for me a little harder than normal. I'm usually pretty good at forcing myself to get out there and suck it up but for right now- I'm just enjoying doing my own thing. 

I'm finally at the point where I feel ready to write, dittle around on facebook, etc. So you'll see more posts coming through and (hopefully) a little more on a timely schedule. 

I just wanted you, my friends and readers (who I consider friends), to know that I'm back and I'm here. I didn't desert you and in fact I've got some stuff lining up so maybe it'll get me back into the spirit of things.

And I promise I'm ok, I'm fine- nothing bad or crazy happened at all. I'm just moody and sensitive.

Surprised you didn't it?

Yes, despite my sarcasm and rough nature- I'm actually incredibly sensitive and I take everything to heart. I obsess over everything and I always spend hours at night wondering if everyone else is ok with the things I've said and the things I've done.

I promise I still love you and I'll try to keep posting stuff.

Hope you guys are doing well too, 

-SamanthaK