Working Life: So You Want to Work a Wedding...

Working Life: So You Want to Work a Wedding...

This post is inspired by my friend Sarah, who just recently got engaged to her long-time boyfriend, Jason. 

Congrats!

(That rock, though! Am I right?)

So generally, I get asked A LOT why I like working weddings- because most people would rather gouge out their eyeballs and eat them on spaghetti than endure the stress that is a wedding.

Short answer: I'm good at it.

Long answer:

Because weddings aren't just about slapping an up-do or makeup on a girl who's been crying all morning and getting out of there as soon as possible. It just isn't. Brides and weddings are so much more- especially if you're like me and you're a sucker for helping people.

Let's break down the bride:

(This is Katie and Matt. I did her makeup!)

If you've never had the (mis)fortune of being a bride, let me break down exactly what they're doing for an entire year to put this together:

-Trying to keep their mother and mother in law out of every step of planning. (This is like, a minefield of problems in and of itself.)

-Paying roughly between $10-$30k for a wedding between you, your husband, and your parents. 

-ALWAYS coming in over the budget you set. Your wedding was supposed to be $12k, it was $14k instead because you forgot to budget something dumb like favors, and forks.

-Brides spend MINIMUM of 2 hours a week planning their wedding for an entire year. (And if her mother had it her way, more like 40 hours a week).

-Hiring a caterer, finding a cake, renting a car or limo, the venue, the dress, his tux, your mother's dress, your mother in laws dress, wrangling bridesmaids, going to tacky bachelorette parties you didn't want to go to, realizing that you have to rent not only tables, but every item on the table like forks, spoons, coffee cups, making a guest list that grows every time your dad sneezes, finding the right flowers, having vases for the flowers when you're not using them, the jewelry, the shoes, the colors for the wedding, trying to do everything without offending anyone, trying NOT to invite the whole damn town but you end up doing it anyway because you once were in the high school band.

...Needless to say, by the time the wedding day actually comes up, you'll see how fast a bride crumbles at the sight of her dress. You have to imagine planning every detail on a vacation and when the day finally comes, you feel a little numb and you don't actually end up remembering the flight/drive there.

Brides on the day of their wedding go one of two ways:

-CRAZY BRIDEZILLA, who everyone is ready to just throttle. She is demanding and annoying and crazy and nothing will ever please her. We've all seen the show, we know what's up.

-Space cadet. She is drifting through, and her bridesmaids and mother sort of keep her going through the motions. She's seeing everything come together finally and she's just trying to be quiet and absorb everything. She'll probably cry here and there. This is why she's last when it comes to makeup. You have to give her time to emotionally ride out the day.

And here's the bridesmaids:

(This is Heather and Jackie, my new favorite people.)

Almost every wedding I've worked, bridesmaids break down like this:

-The quiet friend who kind of doesn't know what to do with herself. She stands around a lot, and frankly just takes care of herself because that is something she knows will help. She is the first one dressed, first one ready and then just stands and waits for someone to tell her what to do. You won't have to worry too much about her.

-The friend who's kind of a hot mess. She's mad her friend is getting married first or she's going through a breakup, or can't stand to not have the attention on herself. This is the one who will ask for thick eyeliner and 8 pounds of lashes because she wants to stand out. Your job is to tell her that you'll be happy to to her makeup like that in the future, but for today the bride wants everyone to match. Then give her a business card. 

-The one who takes somehow all the responsibility on herself. She is feeding the bride, handing out mimosas, cracking jokes to keep the mood light. This is the bridesmaid everyone dreams of but rarely gets. Sometimes she is a crazy in disguise but knows she'll get attention if she's helpful. Let it happen. She gives you mimosas too and calls you family. 

-The disappearing act. She's locked in the bathroom, she's out in car on the phone, she's doing her own makeup, she's fixing her hair after you leave the room. Try to leave her alone, she's having her own thing going on. I promise she'll be dressed and ready to go a minute before everyone is leaving. Everyone sort of obsesses over her because they can't find her. 

-And lastly, the rare and elusive best friend. This is the girl who is emotionally helping. She stays close to the bride and makes faces at her and reminds her how dorky her fiance is. She laughs when the bride laughs, and cries when she cries. 

If this girl is not here, your job is to fill that role. I know it sounds crazy, but for a good 20 minutes, that bride is watching you tie everything up in a fluffy white bow. You're putting the cherry on the sundae that is her bridal look. She trusts you, and you have to be honest when things aren't working and supportive when she needs you. You're the one staring her in the face right before she gets in her dress and sees herself all put together. That's a big role to fill. Even the toughest of Bridezillas have an underbelly and they will ask you, "Do you think I look nice?" and you will say, "You're the most beautiful bride."

What kind of person does it take to work a wedding?

(This is me doing Katie's makeup).

You have a really large responsibility on your shoulders whether you know it or not. This bride and her family are going to be looking at their photos for years to come, and frankly- looking at the work you did for years to come. If you botch this, you've botched pictures that probably costed them $1k.

And on top of this, you're the only one in the room who isn't related to the bride one way or another than can reassure her that everything is fine, no she doesn't look fat, and yes- celedon was a good bridesmaid dress color choice.

So it kind of takes someone with a calm demeanor who can also crack a joke. You need to work quickly and efficiently. Rarely does a bride give you enough time to do you job. It just happens like that, and you always end up running over anyway. 

And what I think makes a great bridal stylist- being a jack of all trades and being ready for anything.

For example- I know how to bustle a wedding gown, I know how to get a stain out of one, and I know how to get a bride into a button up, corset laced, zipper sided, 18 layered cake dress. 

My kit also includes a stain remover, sewing kit, food (the bride won't eat much- it might be your job to get that bitch a granola bar), etc. I'm prepared for anything.

Because you'd be surprised how many times the bride's mother has trouble getting her in the dress, and you'd be surprised what stains await you.

And what kind of makeup do you use?

A little bit of everything. I've done insane research into what holds up vs what doesn't. Doesn't matter if it's drugstore or high end.

To make the bride feel like she's gotten a high end service though, depot everything into z-palettes and Japonesque palettes. It makes everything look the same and you won't freak your bride out when you bust our a Sonia Kashuk cream bronzer even though we all well know that it's an exact dupe for the Chanel Tan de Soliel.

They're paying a lot of money for you, the least you can do is use the good stuff on them, or pretend to.

I will say this though, if you are doing any large parties, or if the bride is paying you very good money- stick with an airbrush. It'll make your life a lot easier and you don't have to dirty up as many brushes.

And I always suggest, if you have any sway with the brides/bridesmaids- eyelash extensions. Applying false lashes all day on every girl who is crying and rubbing their eyes... it's kind of a mess. I usually apply individuals to make a more natural feel, but sometimes if the girl is a hardcore crier or eye rubber- you're not going to break that habit in a day. 

Plus, you wouldn't apply mascara over them so you won't have drippy runny mascara. Gross.

Some tips and things you should know:

-ALWAYS do the bride last. The longer she sits in hair and makeup, the more time she has to pick at her hair and obsess over it until she hates it- even if it's an exact match to the run through you did weeks ago.

-Whatever the bride wants, give it to her- within reason. 99% of the time (now that pinterest is a thing), the bride will change her mind on makeup and hair (especially makeup). It's one of the last things about her day that she has freedom to change or worry about- so if the look she wants is appropriate, do it. If her wedding colors are pink and white and everything is traditional- don't do over the top lashes and a red lip. Catch my drift?

-If you are being paid top dollar, you are giving top dollar service. You are not playing around on your cell phone, you are not expecting tips, you are dressed appropriately, and you keep a good attitude going. You are giving the bride and the 'maids an experience. Make it one where you wouldn't be embarrassed to give them your business card. 

I'll put it to you this way. At Starbucks you pay $5 for a coffee that would cost you $2 to make at home, so if you're paying that much more for it- don't you want it done the right way? You want it done by a guy in a uniform with clean hands, who gets you your coffee in 2 minutes, piping hot. Period. Working a wedding is not a time to dress like a hooker and do makeup that would embarrass your mother.

-Keep your things sanitary. Clean your brushes in between girls and sanitize your hands. You are in a room with 12 hawks, don't let them catch you doing something gross.

-During your run through and consultation, ask to the bride what she wants for her bridesmaids and mothers. Pretty much every bride will immediately tell you how annoyed they are with so and so. Don't gossip and take the opportunity to instead get a feel of what she really wants. Brides will say "do whatever they want" but they rarely mean it. So if she tells you the wedding is "simple", "classic", "daytime" and the colors are pastels- go easy on the liners. Stick with greys and taupes. If she's doing a rockabilly theme, I mean, by all means- go for the theatrics. Just understand, there is an underlying theme in this wedding and the bridesmaids should look a part of that- the mothers too for that matter. No 60's bouffants if the wedding is "ethereal" and "natural".

-Do the damn research. You have pinterest at your fingertips. If you want a great look inside the bride's mind- go on her pinterest and look at her bridal boards. You'll instantly get a vibe that will help lead you do your overall looks. And read blogs, watch youtube videos, etc to see what kind of makeup you should be using. And don't read/watch people who aren't industry pro's- they've probably never worked a wedding. 

Watch artists like: Pixiwoo, NikkiTutorials, Emilynoel83, MakeupbytiffanyD, MakeupgeekTV, etc. These are people who either work professionally, or do extensive researching. 

I hope that helped anyone who really want to try and work a wedding- hopefully soon I'll get into doing wedding tutorials,

-SamanthaK

P.S- Feel free to leave questions in the comments, I'll be happy to answer!