Things About Makeup That Irritate Me

Things About Makeup That Irritate Me

I love watching youtube videos. I do. I spend a lot of time watching a handful of makeup artists and "gurus" on youtube to get ideas or see reviews on stuff that I'm interested in.

So when I was watching a favorite youtuber of mine, (Emily Noel, check her out, she's awesome) she mentioned something about foundation packaging that irritated her and I totally connected with that. And really, when I thought about it, there's a lot of things about makeup and the people connected to makeup that absolutely drive me crazy.

SO HERE WE GO:

Foundation Bottles With No Pumps

What. The. Hell. Who would even make a bottle for foundations without the pump? 

First of all, super unsanitary. Unless you wash your hands vigorously every time before you use it maybe, but even then you're still touching your face and then going back to the bottle.

Also, don't even try to tell me "just pour it on the back of your hand first" because that's just as unsanitary and also, super wasteful.

Ever pour foundation on your hand first? You ALWAYS end up with left over product. 

Always. 

Unless you're some kind of voodoo witch and in that case- I don't trust you.

Companies Who Sponsor People Not Suited to their Brand

Pantene routinely sponsors "regular girls".

Um. You are a hair brand, I should hope you at least tried to contact the hair stylists on youtube/blogs first. 

Otherwise, wtf.

Makeup Products with Crazy Long Names.

NYX- Slide On, Glide On, Always a Turn On Waterproof Extreme Shine Eyeliner.

Urban Decay- Naked Skin Ulta Definition Liquid Makeup.

Maybeline- Eye Studio Master Precise Ink Pen Eyeliner

Just stop, seriously. This is annoying.

Palettes from the Same Company that Overlap Colors

Urban Decay, I'm talking to you.

In almost every single palette you include Half Baked.

I get it, it's gold and shiny and fun and most people like it- but so help me. I think I literally half 8 pans of Half-Baked now. Stop it. Seriously. I don't need nearly enough gold to make it worth it.

Companies That Make Packaging so User-Unfriendly

Palettes that don't fit in drawers.

Bottles that are too bulky and take up room in my travel bag.

Eyeshadow packaging that is so strange it wont all line up in a drawer nicely.

FOUNDATIONS WITHOUT PUMPS.

Eyeshadow primers with applicators that don't actually reach all the product in the bottle and you get really mad cause you're like, "I paid 20 dollars for this!" and then you end up hulk smashing the bottle open and scraping it out and sticking it in a container and when people are like, "what's that?" you're like, super embarrassed to say what happened and WHAT YOU DID, BECAUSE YOU ARE A SAVAGE.

And as a side note, here's what bothers me the most...

People Who Call Themselves Makeup Artists Who Only Do Makeup On Themselves

I'm talking to you, girls on youtube. 

I'm talking to you, girls from my school.

I'm talking to you, girls who do their cousin's makeup for prom.

No.

Stop it.

Unless you are trained in client safety, unless you took classes on sanitation, and frankly- UNLESS YOU GET PAID, you are not a professional.

Don't even test me.

This subject makes me so mad- especially the whole youtube scene.

People like Pixiwoo, NikkiTutorials, etc- those are real makeup artists. They get paid and make their living from doing makeup, or teaching at makeup academies. They understand not double dipping or working from a palette. They get that half of the battle is sanitation. And they do makeup ON OTHER FACES. (Sure, they are the main subject, usually, but they bring in people all the time).

If you are someone who started doing tutorials on yourself, from your own stuff that you don't sanitize, have never worked a gig in your life, and somehow got youtube famous and maybe even sponsored- you better not even remotely call yourself a makeup artist. Don't even. You make me mad. How dare you.

And let me be honest, yes I still watch youtube videos from girls I wouldn't classify as makeup artists and here's why:

They never call themselves makeup artists.

Emily Noel for example: She does hands down some of the best review videos around. She's thorough, and fun to listen to. She does a tooooon of makeup looks on video but I don't think in the, whatever, 6 years she's been on youtube she's ever called herself a makeup artist. 

And I like the honesty.

And lets say you're new and the odds are you're working for free for a little while- if you've never applied makeup to a face that is not yours AND YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO- just switch careers and stop bugging me.

SO THERE YOU GO,

-SamanthaK

January Favorites, Current Loves, and Not so Current Loves

January Favorites, Current Loves, and Not so Current Loves

It just occurred to me that some of my favorite you tube videos to watch and blogs to read are current loves, monthly favorites, and finally hearing bloggers talk trash on products that suck. WHY IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME TO DO THESE, I WILL NEVER KNOW.

Let's get down to business.

(To defeat the huns.)

Jan Fav's and Current Loves

L'Bri- Rejuvenating Facial Peel

I don't know what kind of crazy scientific lab this came from but I am eternally grateful. Here's the deal with my skin- on a normal everyday basis it is dry and peels. I DON'T KNOW WHY EXACTLY other than I know I have dry dehydrated skin and no matter how much water I drink it doesn't seem to change a whole lot. Other than the summer time (for which my skin becomes normal but acne prone), my skin just looks like a snake shedding it's skin. GROSS, YOU'RE WELCOME.

So when it comes to exfoliating the dead skin off, not a lot of things work for me. Mechanical exfoliants (IE scrubs you have to actually scrub in) usually are too irritating or scratchy and end up doing more damage than anything. Chemical exfoliants tend to help a lot but I am generally pretty wary of the peels they do in say, doctors offices and such. THOSE ARE A LITTLE MUCH. So L'Bri made a pretty interesting product- you spread a thin layer over your clean and dry face (avoiding your eyes, c'mon, use your common sense), wait about 20-30 seconds, and then with dry hands start to rub your face in small circles (like you would with a normal scrub). THIS STUFF LITERALLY SHEDS THE SKIN FOR YOU. The dead skin starts to ball up and then you rinse it off with water the flakiness is gone. As scary as it sounds though, it's incredibly gentle and doesn't leave your face totally red and irritated. 

(As an FYI, L'Bri is a really cool company and you can buy samples of their skin sets to try out without shelling out big bucks. I have yet to not like anything I've tried.)

Dior- Rouge Dior Couture Colour Voluptuous Care Lipstick in Prune Daisy

I hate when companies give lipsticks some crazy long names.

Rant aside, this favorite kind of snuck up on me towards the end of the month here. I can't believe how flattering this color is. I'm beginning to wonder if the formula color is cool and the shimmer is warm to create a neutral because every person that's tried this seems to look amazing in it. 

And as for the formula itself- it's really nice. It's incredibly comfortable and it pretty much stays put. I will say though, it's not long-wearing- like it's not gonna get you through a burger, don't be getting ideas.

However, I will say this about it- when it wears off- IT ALL WEARS OFF. Every time I wore this lippie, I've never noticed like a darker ring to the outside of the lip, or that it only wore off in the center. It kind of all comes off about the same time. This actually works as a pro for me. I hate the ring of lipliner or lipstick without the center filled in. I hate it a lot. So when this wore down and actually looked like a lip stain- I was very excited. (Plus I paid good money for this, it better look nice all the time. The end.)

Dior- Addict eau de parfum

I can't even. I can't. 

This is like the nicest perfume I've ever owned. I get complements about it every time I wear it and generally people can't get enough of it. I can't explain what is is. I think it's just that the scent is such a strange mix and no one really owns it so it smells new and exciting.

I know this is one of the pricier perfumes on the market, but I'm telling you- I am a Dior convert. I think it's worth the price tag. 

Hot Tools- Professional 20 piece hot rollers

What kind of chump am I? Seriously? I have been slaving over my head with a curling iron for years and it never occurred to me to buy and use a hot roller set. 

My mom actually has the same version of this set from the 80's or 90's that still works as an FYI.

Now I know a lot of you are looking at this like it's some kind of artifact I found in a museum. Yes, it has no velvet or velour and the clips are just those little prongs- but honestly those hot rollers have never worked on me or anyone else I've used them on. The velvet has no grip and they slide off pretty easily and the big claw clips leave huge dents. They are just tough to work with and frankly- ain't nobody got time for that.

I love that these grip onto the hair and I actually like having the mix of sizes because it creates a more natural look. Plus, I have some wiggle room in terms of styling. Do I want tighter curls? Do I want waves?

I just have more options with this. And I found them online for like 30 bucks, so not a bad deal.

Plus, oh man, how nice is it to set your whole head in like 10 minutes and then walk away AND DO SOMETHING ELSE. All I have to do at the end is shake them out. I can't even... I'm an idiot for not using these on myself sooner.

Paul Mitchell- Awapuhi Wild Ginger Keratin Intensive Treatment

Ok, so, I'm officially back to blonde. With the intense amount of lightening I've been doing, I've been really strict about my hair products lately. I normally use my Awapuhi Shampoo and Conditioner and then every 2 or 3 washes I switch it up with a clarifying shampoo to make sure I remove the keratin buildup.

ANYWAY, I remembered I had this after my It's a 10 hair mask ran out and frankly, I kind of forgot how nice it is. You apply it all over your hair about once a week and it has to sit on the hair 3-5 minutes. (Really by the time you wash, shave your legs, etc, you're good to go). If you want something more intense though, I've applied this all over and then wrapped it up in a shower cap and left it on while I made coffee, or checked emails and whatever. I think I rinsed it out about 15 minutes after I applied it and it made my hair sooooooooooo soft. I can't even begin to say how nice it felt- especially after abusing my hair with lightener.

The whole Awapuhi line is pretty great and as most of you know I love the styling products- but just be sure to use a clarifying shampoo here and there to start fresh- otherwise you'll end up with a keratin buildup and your hair can start snapping. (Been there, done that).

Just Getting my Nails Done

I don't know what really prompted it but I really just needed pampering for myself. A lot of people comment on it, asking if I did it myself.

No. 

Not in a million years.

First of all, acrylic is hard enough for me with my dominant hand but my left hand is close to completely useless. There's no way I could do it myself. 

And look, I know I could paint my own nails. I agree that I'm spending money on something I could do myself.

But do chefs stop going out to eat just because they became a chef?

No. 

And honestly, it's just nice to have someone else take care of something for you.

Plus, I get to hang out with my friend Kristine and gossip and generally act dumb. IT'S FUN FOR ME.

31 Bags

I can't believe how much I've used these in the past month of so. I feel like I've been living out of them. They came with me to Disneyland, F airfield, Napa, sleepovers, parties, just using them to organize my purse....

They are so handy and I never thought I'd use them that often. I pretty much thought it would be a travel only thing but they're just handy in general. 

Especially for stuff like when your mom calls you for a manicure and you need something to stash all your polishes in.

I'm glad my mom thought you get them in a few different sizes because I've pretty much used every single size at some point.

Not so Current Loves

I haven't really encountered a lot of products I didn't like this month, but there are a few things I genuinely hate at the moment.

Studying for State Board

If I have to look at that test book one more time, I might actually go crazy and start storming the neighborhood with a doll head in each hand.

I can't even, you guys.

But I really don't have much longer to wait, thank God. I don't want everyone to know the date but suffice it to say, I'll be working in February.

People who are so into things to a point that it makes everyone else go crazy

Football fans, girls who believe in astrology, people who post inspirational poster after poster, and generally anyone else who becomes obsessive over something insignificant.

I do not need you spitting out hateful words or cluttering up my facebook feed with your crazy. I do not care about how slutty you are but "It's ok, I'm a Virgo! It explains EVERYTHING". And I do not care how anyone else is a pansy because they don't like the 49-ers but when your team loses you say HORRIBLE things instead of admitting that every team has an off game. 

And so help me, if I see one more picture of a sunset with a quote like, "Everyone comes with baggage- find someone to help you unpack", I'm going to delete EVERYONE and I will enjoy facebook with the other people who post pictures of My Little Pony and comment on each other's pictures saying supportive things like, "Hey bro! I love this picture. I miss you! We should hang out next Thursday."

Because you know what? I am free next Thursday, and I do want to hang out.

-SamanthaK

Review Time: The Most Amazing Lipstick Ever

Review Time: The Most Amazing Lipstick Ever

We all remember the Golden Globes blog post where I sang my praises to Jennifer Lawrence and her Dior lipstick right?

Here's a reminder.

Gorg, right?

Ok, so the lipstick she's wearing is by Dior and it's called "Prune Daisy" (appealing, I know).

True to form- I got obsessed with the idea of having it but I was like, "Samantha, no. You can find a dupe of it no problem".

So I scoured the internet, I went into my personal stash of lippies, and I even walked down the isles of CVS and Walgreens only to find out that there isn't a dupe. Not really anyway.

You can probably get close to the color and maybe even the finish- but the actual lipstick in person is way different.

The color on Jennifer Lawrence is a strange thing because it morphs in natural and artificial lights. So when I went to look at the color in person I was like- "oh, this is why I had trouble."

Now you know me- expensive makeup better be the best thing since sliced bread if I'm going to buy it. And for the hefty price tag of $34 dollars for a lipstick, I was like- it better do my taxes.

I sucked it up and I bought it. Honestly, it's a good kit expansion for me anyway because I genuinely didn't have a color like that and I knew it would look good on me because it was a cool color and it wasn't too deep.

You guys, I am so happy I bought it.

I will say this though, I expected the actual tube to be metal. I'm not sure why. I guess because when I've bought Clinique lippies they've come in a solid metal tube and I THINK I just associate luxury with metal? WHATEVER.

I tried to swatch it lighter and then heavier so you could get an idea of the actual undertones and bases.

So here's the thing- in heavy yellow light like on JLaw, it turns slightly brownish, but in person it's quite raspberry. And not only that, there's actually glitter in the lipstick. Now, again, you know I'm not the biggest glitter fan- but it's not chunky in the slightest and the formula itself is incredibly smooth and the glitters' purpose is more like a light reflect than it is actual sparkle.  

 (Artificial light)

It wears amazingly and applies like a dream. I went for it straight out of the tube and then ran around the edges with a brush to create a shape. (My top lip is the most annoying shape on the planet and generally has NO shape).

(natural light)

I could see this being flattering for a lot of people. I will say it's quite cool, but the raspberry color is pretty forgiving.

I genuinely like the lipstick a lot and honestly is the formula is true to all Dior lipsticks, I might have to be a convert.

-SamanthaK

You To Can Do: The Short Hair Bun

You To Can Do: The Short Hair Bun

Ok, so you chopped all your hair off, and you realized your mistake and it's growing out. Welcome to the club.

My hair has finally gotten to the point where it's rounding the corner into being a bun. It's not QUITE long enough to wrap around a bun form and it's not long enough to really be the messy bun I used to do.

SO HERE'S HOW I FAKE IT.

Step 1: Get your hair into a ponytail (I pinned my bangs back cause I didn't feel like dealing with it) and fan your ponytail out. My hair was pre-curled from yesterday so for some reason it kind of already wants to be a bun.

Step 2:  This is kind of weird and hard to explain- and it was difficult to get pictures of- BUT I WILL DO MY BEST. Grab a small section of your ponytail and slide it into a bobby pin, making sure it's to the ends.

Step 3: Now roll the whole pin under- you'll see the bun starting to form a little, and then stick the pin in at the scalp to anchor it.

 Step 4: Repeat around the bun.

Step 5: If you see sections where there is a gap in between, it's not a big deal. Open up a bobby pin and using the 2 feet, grab a little of each side where the gap is and slide the bobby pin down to keep hold of the hairs. Then slide the whole bobby pin inward- but against the scalp to anchor it all together.

Step 6: I like my buns to be a little messy, so I stick my nails in the bun itself and kinda fluff it a little.

And there you have it- a messy bun for short hair.

-SamanthaKI

An H&M Update- Can Life Get Any Worse?

An H&M Update- Can Life Get Any Worse?

So did you read the last update? If not you should probably do that. 

I'll wait.

Ok, so here's what's happened since then.

So the ONLY return item I got was the tank top but I really only ordered it to go under the sweaters I bought. I went back on H&M's website, found the items I had wanted exchanged in the first place, and just ordered them in the size I wanted.

I was like, "You assholes."

Because, let's remember, they said they didn't have any of the sweaters- only the tank top. AND I FOUND THE SWEATERS ON THEIR WEBSITE AND THEY WERE AVAILABLE.

I don't know what kind of hokey, Mickey Mouse operation they have going on over there- but I am pissed.

So basically my online purchase was sent to me 2 days before I got my return item. 

I... I can't even.

And then to take matters worse, one of the sweaters didn't fit and looked really silly on me- SO I HAD TO DO THIS BULL ALL OVER AGAIN.

At least this time I didn't have to have it exchanged- it was just a straight return.

However, it's been a few weeks and I was getting annoyed my refund hadn't gotten back to me yet. So I went on my account on the H&M site, and it showed me THEY JUST FRIGGIN' GOT IT TODAY.

HOW SLOW IS THE MAIL? SURELY NOT THAT SLOW. 

So my only conclusion is H&M has a shitty warehouse, and a shitty customer service staff.

This annoys me so much, you don't even know. Everytime I go to the store in person, they have the most helpful people who will look in their back storeroom just to try and find you things- and they will do it repeatedly! Because they want you to be happy and have the clothes you want!

I wish H&M's online staff had their shit together. Seriously. This upsets me.

Part of me wants to write a letter to H&M, but you know it would not be pleasant.

It's be like this:

Dear H&M CEO's,

Your stores are awesome and your clothes are very fun and yet still affordable.

PLEASE STOP F***ING UP EVERYWHERE ELSE. YOU ARE GOING TO KILL YOUR PROFITS IF YOU KEEP THIS UP. DON'T YOU WATCH SHARK TANK?! IT'S ALL IN THE NUMBERS. FIND THE WEAKNESS AND THEN FIRE EVERYONE AND HIRE NEW PEOPLE. 

Just stop it,

Samantha

...I may or may not get arrested if I sent a letter like that.

Side note: 

Please don't mistake my fury for H&M as a slight to the clothes or the store-fronts, because I love those. I still buy from H&M, I still think they are so much better than Forever21, and I will continue to sing praises for the staff in the H&M I go to. I'm not encouraging you to not shop there.

Cause I mean, c'mon- this outfit is adorable.

Clothes: H&M
Boots: Frye
Jewelry: Aldos or made by me
Purse: my amazing Coach bag my mom spoiled me with for my birthday one year
Glasses and makeup: Clearly not handling life.

I am however warning you that if you return clothes you bought online, don't expect to see an exchange or a refund for like a month and a half.

Just sayin',

-SamanthaK

Golden Globes 2014: Praises and Rants

Golden Globes: Praises and Rants

There's nothing I love more than awards seasons. When I was younger I used to watch them all the way through, and then scour the magazines and internet later to recreate the looks. I dreamed of wearing Dior and being covered in jewels.

There's literally nothing more glamorous than awards seasons. NOTHING.

But I feel like the older I get, the younger the starlets become, and the less "old Hollywood" they show- I'm kind of upset this year.

Why, you ask?

Because everyone friggin' lost it in the details!

I'm sorry, if you hire a stylist who you pay large sums to literally put you together- you'd think they'd actually do the job. And honestly, I realize the Golden Globes are where you take chances and the Academy Awards is where you class it up- but Oh. My. God. It's an awards ceremony. Bring your friggin' A-game!

So here's the first thing I noticed, and it shouldn't be a surprise that it angers me due to the fact this is my profession:

Everyone's hair kind of sucked.

First I kept seeing flat ironed to death and pushed to the side, which is already lazy enough- and then it was the friggin' beachy waves. BEACHY WAVES! WHAT?! HOW LAZY CAN YOU BE?! I get it, Olivia Wilde, you are pregnant- but that's what stylists are for. You could have literally set the whole damn thing in some rollers and brushed it out. I WOULD HAVE BEEN SO HAPPY- ESPECIALLY WITH THE DRESS! OihfilurtglikfislkhfilkAHjd, this makes me so mad. This is not the Teen Choice Awards. This is not the Grammys. This is the Golden Globes. Have some respect.

And don't even get me started on this monstrosity. Who. The hell. Thought this was ok? What stylist was like, "Ummmm, lets not wash your hair and we'll just gel it ALLLLLL back." I want to meet that guy and smack him on the mouth. And that windblown nonsense on the left? Don't even. Don't even- because that girl looked gorgeous and her dress was to die for, and then that hair happened. Someone screwed her. I believe it.

And this Amber Heard nonsense. CLEARLY, she hung around Johnny Depp too long and started to turn into Helena Bonam Carter with this too high for you bouffant... She looked like a damn pea head. Terrible considering how glam that dress was.

The makeup was like.... Eh. 

Like I get it, dark lashes and nude lips with great skin is like- an awards staple. I get it, but how booooring. Especially when you see the girls who DID do something else it's like, "URghhhhh LOVE."

I just felt like everyone went so safe with the makeup and considering how lazy everyone kind of was with their hair- they could have at least done SOMETHING with the makeup. SOMETHING.

The dresses were like, really great in general, but then when someone missed- it was a tooooootal miss.

Like, what? Who even?

So enough ranting- allow me to sing my praises.

Lena Dunham. 

I can't even begin to say how much I loved the entire look. And I know a million people would probably disagree- but I really like this.

First off, her makeup was flawless. The lip was just enough to not fight with the dress and her skin was to die for.

Secondly, I don't care what anyone says- I love me a color pop on the red carpet. And frankly, yellow was a good move. She was a stand-alone star. LOOOOVE- and she didn't overpower it with jewelry, or anything crazy. And can we just talk about the fact that her tattoo is showing? I really like that. In a weird way it actually makes the whole ensemble better. MAYBE I AM CRAZY, BUT I LIKE IT.

Margot Robbie

Like, ok. The makeup was boring- but her hair was perfection and she looked flawless.

BUT THAT DRESS THOUGH. Sweet Jesus. What a knockout. So glamorous and the subtle green was so interesting. She was adorable to watch on stage and in interviews because she was just so happy to be there. This girl totally gets what an awards show is supposed to be and I sing my praises.

Jennifer, effin', Lawrence.

We all know I love her to death. She's funny, she's appreciative of what she has, and she just tells you whats up. I enjoy her.

So we all know this makeup is great. I mean, the lip is different enough to set her apart but it's nothing crazy- nor is it the orange red everyone seemed to go for. And her hair looks polished and NOT LIKE SHE ROLLED OUT OF BED. (Btw that lip color is by Dior and it's called Prune Daisy and one day I will have it!)

And no surprise the Dior girl wore Dior, but c'mon- this is some good Dior couture. She looks amazing and I sort of love that her jewelry doesn't match. Like she went completely black and white and then did a green earring. It's very current, but still classy.

And something else I liked:

So recently a lot of stars have come forward to say how much they hate wearing the heels.

Emma Watson took off her shoes at a different awards show saying it was "a feminist statement really", Lena Dunham took hers off so she could actually say her acceptance speech, and really- a lot of girls have been coming out with this fact lately.

You can read a full article about it here:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/12/hate-high-heels_n_4584516.html

So when Emma Thompson took hers off at the Golden Globes, I was super happy. Here's the thing- as long as stars are encouraged to wear heels, it will forever be something we as the public think is appropriate. And once it becomes more public that, really, we hate them- eventually designers will start making some really kick ass flats that will eventually trickle down to the masses. 

As a sasquatch of a woman, I am ok with flats becoming "a thing". I would love to see some formal flats that actually look as good as they feel. I am ok with this.

And one more thing I really really liked:

Can we just talk about Tina Fey and Amy Pohler hosting this whole thing?

They should do it every year in the history of forever. 

I LOVED it. They were fun and lighthearted, the jokes were well written and went over very well, they looked amazing- and frankly it was kind of nice to see 2 very successful women representing funny and great women everywhere. It's no secret I'm a very big fan of both of them- but lets face it, they killed it. 

And lets be honest, hearing Tina Fey say the words, "I'm da captain now" in the full on accent was probably one of the best parts of the night.

I don't think they could have found a better host/team of hosts.

So that's my Golden Globe rant and rave- I hope you liked the awards show as much as I did.

-SamanthaK