Why Your Hair Costs SO Much

Why Your Hair Costs SO Much

I just want to air some grievances.

For those of you who are hairdressers, this post will just be a lot of what you already know (and probably complain about).

And for those who have never had the pleasure of doing someone's hair- please understand this post is not meant to make you feel bad. My sassy demeanor and straight forward-ness is not an attack on your character, it's merely my way of phrasing.

This post though, is meant to help you understand why I (and other cosmo's) charge the way we charge.

First of all, let me tell you some things you may or may not already know.

For the hourly worker, this is how your paycheck breaks down:

First, you start with your grand total income- and most people make minimum wage, however some have had raises. 

Then come the expenses in the month, which employers (usually) automatically withdraw from your check. This covers liabilities, insurance, and taxes (taxes, though you can get back during tax season in April).

But those expenses cover a multitude of things- slip and falls, chopping off a finger, someone robs the bank you work at and shoots you, mental distress, etc. Ex: If you fall at work and smack your noggin, you can go to a hospital and the insurance covers you because it happened AT WORK. (This is a very generalized summation, but you feel me)

Salaried employees are much the same. As long as you work under a company, there are certain things that are covered for you, or you can opt to get even better insurance through your employers.

With paychecks, you can also ask to have more money withheld so you can get a better tax payoff in the beginning of the year, you can have it directly deposited into your bank account, etc.

You have a lot of options when it comes to working for another person when it comes to your check and money.

So here's how hairdressers come in.

First of all, to even go to school and take state board, we pay roughly between $15,000 and $20,000. It depends on the school, but when you factor in extra training and the costs to even APPLY to state board, it adds up and fast. Especially when it comes to equipment because no matter what you do- you will eventually have to replace combs, or a flat iron, or whatever the case is.

We have 3 general options for making money.

A) Rent a booth in a salon, which costs a lot- but we get to be our own bosses.

B) Work commission, which can be anywhere from 50/50 to 70/30 depending on the salon. We are technically our own bosses, but we are still paying out a lot of money at the end of the month.

C) Salaried, where we make minimum wage working for a corporate chain. Think places like Sports Cuts, Super Cuts, JC Penney Salon, Ulta's, etc.

Category C automatically gets everything I talked about before, because you make a paycheck every month (or 2 weeks, I don't know your life.)

But when it comes to A and B, this is where those options differ:

Commission covers jack, you guys. The only reason commission exists is for you to build up clientele without being strapped with monthly rent. This is great for people starting out but it's not great in the long term when you have a busy booking schedule.

And on top of that, a lot of salons will offer to up the percentage of commission to cover the costs of buying your supplies- like hair color, developers, perms, etc. 

That's great and all, until you realized you worked on a $200 client to only make $100 because you opted for a 50/50 deal.

(Some places will try to gouge you on commission, take heed.)

Rent is a little different. I'm basically paying for the space and the pleasure of doing my own thing, being my own boss, and practicing my business how I see fit.

But now let's talk about the money break down:

I don't make a paycheck. My money depends on me hustling my name out there to draw people into my shop.

So there is no pull from my check to cover for insurance, or taxes. None. Whatever I make, I must claim on my taxes- but because I don't pay into them bi-weekly, I have to pay a lump sum at the end of the year.

This could be hundreds, or thousands of dollars all at once- because it depends on how much I made.

My medical insurance is also separate and not covered by a corporate entity.

In case you forgot, most medical insurances are out the nose, crazy expensive.

Slip and fall incidences are mostly my own problem at that point. The owner of the salon or space will usually have insurance on the building, but it's mostly so that if someone slips and falls- the owner can't be sued.

So now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about supplies.

Here's what the average set of supplies costs me at a beauty supply retailer. 

(Allow me to rip the veil off and be crazy honest)

Scissors range anywhere from $100 (for really terrible quality) to $1000 (for amazing quality). My school set costed me $700.

Hair color is roughly $8 a tube (usually 2 oz). Some are $6, some are $10, but it really depends on the company.

Developers are between $5-$10 a container.

Shampoos and Conditioners for a gallon are around $20-$30 a piece.

Any good flat iron worth it's salt is $80 or more.

Blowdryers are over $100 at least. (Mine was wholesaled at $200, but I got it for $100 on a black Friday sale.)

Brushes are anywhere between $5 and $20, just depends on the type of brush (and you need more than just a couple)

But then you factor in combs, bowls, brushes, capes, towels, etc... it adds up, and it adds up quickly- ESPECIALLY working your first month when you have to buy all of those things preemptively. 

So let me break it down for you as a client.

First of all, you are coming into a salon or having me come to your home for the pleasure of being pampered and having someone take care of you. If you wanted to only pay $20, you can happily march your ass to the drugstore and get your own color. I'll be here when you botch it and you have to pay me $100 to fix your $15 dye job.

Sorry, not sorry.

I have fixed so many dye jobs, I can say with confidence, "You get what you pay for".

And lets not forget either, I have thousands upon thousands of hours of training and a year and a half of working under my belt- and I do really good work.

Hair and Makeup

Hair and Makeup

 Cut, color, styling

Creative Color

And there's a lot more (I'm just really bad at taking pictures at work).

So when you come in as a client, and sit in my chair- this is what it costs me to do the work.

Highlights:

First of all, highlights start to finsh can be anywhere from 2-4 hours of work depending on how much hair you have, how dark it is, etc.

Lightening powder costs about $15-20 bucks for a tub and I'm using around 4 or 5 scoops of it (but most likely a lot more if your hair is long), let's say $5 just for the math.

total so far: $5

Foils are roughly $10 for a big pack. Some are cheaper, some are way more. For the sake of the math, I'm averaging. I go through those all the time too. So lets say your high and lowlights are around 1/4 of a 500 sheet pack. So that's $2.50 in foils.

total so far: $7.50

Any other color you use, and you will use some either for toning your blonde, or adding lowlights or something like that is an $8 tube (I'd probably use half), plus the $5 developer to activate the color. If it's toner only, it's about $4.

total so far with lowlights and a toner: $20.50

Hair product costs anywhere between $5-$30. Most styling agents by Paul Mitchell for example are sold to stylists at around $8-10, their gallon size shampoos are around $30 with tax. 

So between the shampoo, conditioner, my beloved cutting oil, mousse, creams, etc- I'm spending probably around $3 of product one way or another. On average, a stylist will use around 3-5 products on you. Shampoo, conditioner, something that will speed up the dry time or heat protects, something to smooth, curl, whatever you want, and then something to finish (hairsprays, oils, etc)

total to far: $23.50

This is all assuming I already have towels, bowls, brushes, etc.

Grand total in costs: $23.50

What I charge in a salon: $110

Total profit: $86.50

Roughly- I only make 79% of what I charge.

Now lets just so a straight all over color.

Color, developer, and gloves are all I need.

Grand total in costs: $11(ish) 

What I charge in a salon: $40

Total profit: $29(ish)

Roughly- I only make 73% of what I charge.

Where this DOES tip the scale in my favor is haircuts.

Haircuts at my salon are $20, and like I said before, I spend $3 in product on you, so I make a pure profit of $17.

Now I realize you're looking at this and saying, "Why are you complaining? You still make good money!"

And I do, I agree. But here's exactly why hairdressers charge like they do.

While you're working 40 hours a week (full time) at lets say, $10 an hour, you're making $400 a week. With taxes and craziness, I'm just roughly subtracting $50 a week. (I'm probably going overboard but whatever. For the SAKE OF THE MATH).

$350 a week x 4 weeks in a month= $1400 a month.

This covers additional insurances, (maybe even corporate insurance, who knows) and your taxes.

I make anywhere between $500 a month and $2000 a month. And here's why-

I do not not get "sick days" that are a paid. I do not get vacation days. I do not get insurance unless I provide it for myself. If something breaks, I have to replace it myself, if I use color and supplies, I am paying for it. And when it comes to taxes, I'm basically withdrawing $200 from my funds per month to pay them.

I don't get the luxuries that comes with corporate living. 

So on the months when I make $500, it's usually like this month where I had a sinus infection and missed days, or saved up for awhile to take a much needed vacation. Or frankly, something breaks, my supplies suddenly went up in price (which they did recently), or something just comes up.

Health insurance, by the way, on average costs around $200-400 a month.

So when I set my prices, I set them for a reason and it's not because I'm trying to fleece you of your hard earned money. I know hair is an expensive upkeep and I'm lucky in that I have training that makes me irreplaceable. You need me to give you a good haircut because you can't do it yourself.

So for those of you who sit in my chair, stare at me in the mirror and have the balls to say things like, "I can do it myself cheaper", "You're too expensive", and fight me on my prices-

You are the worst. And you can (censored) off.

I would never go into your line of work and tell you you should earn less. Never. You're telling me that I'm not worth your time or money. When you say I charge too much, you're implying that my skills aren't up to snuff.

I am not a swap meet, or antique market- my prices are not up for debate. This is not a fun job where I get to play with hair all day and piss away money. This is my job, and my career at that. This is where I make money to support my home, save for my wedding, and plan for my future. I don't get to have an automatic set up for retirement, or 401k's unless I do them on my own. And I can't put away money if I don't make any.

I think people get surprised when they ask me what I do when someone haggles me on the price, because my answer is simple.

If someone is asking me to charge them less money for a service that still costs me the same amount of time to perform, then they can leave. 

I'd rather them not take up my time when I could fill that spot for another person who's willing to pay- than to take what they're willing to give me.

I'm trained in color, cutting, and chemicals and I have all the knowledge to perform them safely. If they're willing to risk their safety and happiness to save a buck- then they can get to it and get out of my chair.

I've sent girls home before when they want to haggle me on prices. I have a set price sheet on the wall and if they don't like it- there are plenty, PLENTY of other places they can go.

And to top it all off, when it comes to hair and makeup- I understand there isn't a whole lot of cost involved in that on my end. Updos are all bobby pins ($5) and product ($3) and makeup is probably just a couple bucks in terms of product. Why the costs are so high on that is that you're removing me from the salon to perform a task (weddings, proms, etc). In the time it takes for me to airbrush faces on 5 girls and do all of their hair- it's around 5 hours, maybe more. 5 hours in a salon could potentially earn me $500 in the right setting.

So when I charge each girl $80-100 dollars, it's because that's what I would have made it in the salon. Makeup artists and stylists work out of the salon WHEN THEY KNOW THEY'LL STILL MAKE MONEY. That's how it works! 

Do you think we're really going to spend money on gas and time packing our kits to come to your out of town wedding, pay for our own hotel rooms and then only make a couple hundred? THAT BARELY COVERED THE COSTS OF JUST GETTING THERE.

If you're a bride and you want to have someone come and do everyone's hair and makeup, budget in $100 a girl. Maybe like $80 if you're lucky. But if you want to spend less- find a cousin to do it. Sorry, I don't and can't work for less. I can't. Keeping a kit is pricey (makeup in particular), gas is pricey, hotels are pricey- and I ain't working for free. Sorry. (Unless you're a friend and I've offered to do it as a wedding present. That's a different story entirely.)

I understand that a lot of this info doesn't circulate around. A LOT of people don't understand exactly how expensive my job can be on my end, and then don't understand the implications of wanting "discounts" and "deals". My prices are flexible- they really are. I could easily go to my price sheet and write down a new cost for highlights at any time- but that doesn't mean I want you to do it for me.

To make this even more infuriating...

I work in a very small town next to a pretty good size city. In the city, rent is between $600-1000 for a booth depending on where you go. Their haircuts are $40 and WAY up, their highlights start at $100 and are more likely $150-200. 

My haircuts are $20 and my highlights start at $75. You could leave with highlights and a haircut for less than $100. So when someone has the audacity to ask for a lower price, I'm floored.

I'm already a low price and I keep it that way not because of my skill level but because I know people are hurting and hair is truly a luxury. I want people to afford to get their hair done. I know how powerful hair (and makeup) can be and what it can do for a person. It's a game changer and I want that for everyone. That being said, I can't work for free. I can't. Not with the lifestyle I want to live (house, 2.5 kids, dog, white picket fence). 

So, before you (censored) haggle and fight a price- ASK someone what it costs them to do that job. Genuinely, ask. They will be happy to tell you.

For me, I don't make a huge percentage off my income. I could make much, much more if I wanted to.

So don't come into my salon and haggle me, because I will send you packing.

#sorrynotsorry

-SamanthaK

The Wedding Series: Finding the Dress (part 1)

The Wedding Series: Finding the Dress (part 1)

I'm not even going to lie, I am so scared to write about finding the dress because I know this is the part where you guys begin to polarize. I also have a sneaky feeling everything I hate is everything you guys as readers like.

SO ALLOW ME TO TROLL YOU FOR A MINUTE.

Let's start with the same advice I gave you guys in the beginning post:

Go on your pinterest and look around at wedding dresses and begin to pin whatever you find attractive. My advice, pin whatever floats your boat. Doesn't matter if you only like the top, bottom, lace, buttons, whatever- just pin it.

My second piece of advice I think is what's going to make you guys sort of confused.

Don't narrow anything down, instead- go to a dress store and try things on.

Yeah, I know. The best plan of action for wedding dresses is normally going in with a game plan but instead, I offer you this:

Wedding dresses are not like normal dresses. You might have the body for anything and yet put on that empire waited dress and find that it actually makes you look pregnant. You might think you're too straight up and down to pull off a sexy dress and then put on a corseted dress and find you love your (temporary) hourglass figure.

Wedding dresses are a little strange. Sometimes it's the dress you didn't want that ends up blowing you away. 

And let me also give you the pep-talk:

You are a beautiful woman (or man, I'm not here to tell you how to live your life). You have someone who loves you SO MUCH as you are, that they want to wake up every day to the person you are right now- size 22 or not. That person probably couldn't care less that your left boob is slightly smaller than the other, that your waist isn't 29 inches, or that when you walk your thighs rub against each other like they couldn't possibly be separated.

The reason wedding dress shopping can be really frustrating is that we have an image of our bodies that is mostly negative and we're trying on a dress that's not only a representation of who we are as people right now in this stage in our lives, but everyone is going to be staring at you in that dress and will see pictures of you in that dress for many, many years.

It can be a daunting task, and we already make it hard on ourselves for not appreciating what our bodies look like.

Please, please, please, don't get hung up on sizing. I know sometimes hearing we're a 16 and not a 14 can crush our spirits a little- especially when we've been working out for 2 months and finally squeezed back into a smaller size.

Let me tell you some facts about wedding dresses that might put you at ease:

Wedding dresses (primarily) are a made to order business. 

Meaning, when you try on wedding dresses- that is not exactly how it's going to look on you. When you find a dress you love, it's rare that you take it off the shelf and home. Sample sizes are typically quite small or quite large. So when you find a dress that you love, you get to order it in your size and not even specifically size sometimes- but actual body measurements. (That's usually for designer or "high end" dresses).

And NORMALLY what a seller will explain to you is that it's smarter to order a size up. This is not supposed to be a blow to your ego. What happens is a normal body is not normally a size 12 straight across. You might have a size 12 hip, a size 10 waist, and a size 14 top. I mean, who knows. It could be any combination of things. (This would be on par with buying a size 16 jean and a medium size t-shirt, or something like that). 

So the smartest way to go when it comes to getting your dress fitted is to buy the size that fits you at your "biggest" and have the rest tailored to your body. 

In the long run- this creates a dress fitted specifically to YOUR body and avoids you trying to pad the top, stretch the bottom, etc.

Sizes are not exactly the same across the board.

Here's the "skinny". Dress sizes almost always depend on the designer. Some run small, some run large, some are on the dot. And mostly, the dresses run a tad small. You will most likely have to try on dresses that are a size bigger. 

Again, don't get hung up on the size. Trying on wedding dresses means mostly squeezing into small dresses and having them clip the dress to your bra, or trying on dresses too big for you and having them clamp the extra material in industrial sizes car clamps.

Sorry, I probably ruined the mystery. Whatever.

And just for budget reference, because it's heartbreaking to watch this sometimes:

Just know almost 99% of wedding dresses will need to be fitted/tailored and that roughly begins around $400-500 dollars. 

And also know any time you add beading, lace, or accessories- the price of your wedding attire goes up an insane amount.

So be careful looking at beaded dresses when you KNOW your budget is only $800 or whatever.

SO, when it came to trying on dresses- here's what happened to me.

First off I should say it's very, very important to understand certain things about you and certain things about the people in your family you would want going with you to try on dresses.

Here's what I know about myself, and it's a bit painful to admit: I am easily swayed by my family and I almost always do what they say because I think they know what's best for me. I am also incredibly sensitive despite my cavalier exterior. 

And here's what I know about my family, and it's also painful to admit: They can be very pushy and easily excited. They love to run with an idea because they are incredibly creative people and they LOVE to throw parties.

It's also good to mention that almost every woman in my family has a different dress in mind for me to wear. So it made the process a little confusing. 

I should also mention I have a lot of women in my family and going wedding dress shopping would be like 20 girls crammed in a room. (Which, 20 girls is a terrible idea. Has no one watched Say Yes to the Dress? The first thing they say is don't bring a lot of people.)

So when it came to the first "try-on", I wanted someone there who (wow, this is going to sound terrible) really doesn't care that much about my wedding.

I should soften that blow a little. What I mean to say is, she cares about my feelings about the wedding, but the actual details of the wedding doesn't blow her one way or the other. She doesn't care if the wedding is purple and in an orchard, or a black tie event at the white house. Her only concern is basically, "what do you like?"

Blake, bless her tiny black heart, ended up being the perfect person to take with me to the most stressful bridal dress appointment because her only concern was if a dress looked "right" on my body and if it didn't- get it off now.

And one other thing I loved about taking Blake was that she's very observant. After the bridal appointment we sat down to lunch and were looking through my pinterest and all of a sudden she goes, "You know what I noticed? You pick a lot of Great Gatsby sort of things."

And she was totally right. I like beads in geometric shapes. I picked things with a more laid back silhouette. I really like New Orleans in the 20's/30's.

Blake, the most cynical person I probably know, should probably be a wedding dress consultant or something. (I mean, what else you gonna do with that art degree Blake?)

For reference, at the moment I am between a 14 and 16 (finally loosing weight, yaaaaay!). Most of the dresses I tried on were 18's and had to be cinched a little, or were 14-16's and were a little tight. 

Again, it takes a lot to embarrass me and it's rare that I get too hung up on my weight or looks. So I think the sales girl was a little excited when I was like, "as long as I can get it on so I can see roughly what it looks like- I don't care what size it is."

And let me also say this about my experience- my first time trying dresses, I really didn't know what I wanted and I just really wanted to see different styles on my body so I knew what I liked at all. In terms of the beading or lace or looks of the dress- I didn't care. I was only concerned about what shape looks good on me and then I would know where to go with it.

First, I tried on something which had a full lace back and lace straps, which I liked the most, but the dress itself definitely wasn't for me. It was head to toe lace, it was covered in small beads. It was a lot to take in.

And guys, at this point- the first dress you try on will kind of knock you back for a second. It will be the first time you feel like a bride, it will be the first time you see yourself in a white ballgown (unless you were a debutante I suppose), and it's generally the first time your family will see you in the fluffy, gooey, dress.

Most people in your group will cry.

On average, most girls pick the first dress they put on. (I think it's because they get too excited and pick the first one that gives them that "feeling" but they mistake excitement for "feeling." Call me a cynic.)

Another dress I tried was an empire waisted, chiffon number and while it was not flattering at all and some would be worried it was a shotgun wedding, I loved the chiffon bottom. I loved the way the bottom moved and looked. 

So I was like, "Ok, lace top and chiffon bottom. Good to know."

Unfortunately since it's been wedding season, that particular store sold a lot of dresses in my size. So I was a tiny bit "s.o.l" on trying certain things. BUT she was very helpful in showing me options so I could at least see how the top or bottom looked on me. Very nice store, very nice lady.

So 3 or 4 dresses in, I had tried an A-line shape, empire waist, something strapless, something with a strap, a mermaid tight little number, and then the drop waist. 

The drop waist was the only thing I have a picture of for some reason.

Ironically, this was the dress that made my body look insane but I actually hated the dress the more I looked at it. 

ENJOY THE PUDGY ARMS, HATERS.

I'm probably breaking all kinds of rules showing you guys this, but whatever. I have no shame.

So the drop waist corset back made my boobs and waist look amazing.

And to be fair the beading and lace is divine, in terms of quality.

But oh my God, the longer I was thinking about it through the day, the more I hated it. And when I showed my family pictures of the dress, they all LOVED it so much as even sending me websites where I could order it or pictures online of other brides who wore it.

I know it sounds terrible, but I'm glad my family wasn't there, because I would have ended up with this dress (I mean, there are worse things in life, but COME ON.)

All in all, I think I've figured out what I wanted based on this appointment and I'm glad I did it "relatively" by myself. (Blake was there, but she was also really great about asking me how I felt in something before making her own personal comments.)

I think what I really want is to try on some more dresses in the style I think I like most, and take my family to THAT appointment- because while I enjoy my womens very much, I think they really want to be at the appointment where I actually pick the dress and they get to be a part of THAT special moment and not the other try ons where I'm sweating to death and getting very agitated.

Also, I did want to share this piece of advice given to me by my consultant:

It's good to try on dresses with different styles, but only do 5 or 6 and then stop. You don't want to get overwhelmed and have a negative experience. 

And I totally agree. I tried on I think 5 dresses at her shop and 3 more at another place and by that point I was really, really done. I think it becomes a blurry mess of dresses and by the end of it you're just sort of frustrated. 

So, bullet points:

-Try on different styles

-Narrow it down from there

-Try on only a few dresses at a time

-Take people who are willing to hear you before they give opinions (your friend who has decided you're only wearing a ball gown and nothing else needs to stay home)

-Don't get sad or discouraged, there's a million wedding dresses and a million bridal shops. You will find your dress.

-This should be fun and enjoyable, try not to get hung up on dumb things like sizes or fits.

I'm glad I tried a little of everything because now I have a more directed view on what I'm doing.

For those curious, it's more like this:

And for those extra curious: Both of these pictures are basically the same dress with a beaded or lace overlay piece. I realized this an embarrassing amount of weeks later. 

BTW, for those who are probably like, "Everyone tries a ballgown, where's the ballgown?"

Here it is and it was hilarious.

-SamanthaK

Review Time: Kinky-Curly Original Curling Custard

Review Time: Kinky-Curly Original Curling Custard

This one goes out to the curly-kids out there, who like me- spend way too much time and money on their hair.

Ok, so here's my deal lately. I'm tired of my hair in a big way, and my layers have finally grown out long enough to wear my natural hair and not look like a poodle/Shirley Temple/tornado victim. 

About a week ago (ayyyyy), I jumped out of the shower and was like, "No... I'm not blowdrying."

Which lead to this disaster because the funny story was, I had no hair products in my home meant for curls.

I had some mousse that did basically nothing, I had oils that are really only meant for finishing the style off- I basically had nothing in my arsenal except for water.

BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS: Despite me tinkering, blowdrying, stretching, pulling, re-curling with hot tools, and generally being horrible- my hair still has curl.

We all remember when I went platinum blonde and lost all my curl right?

Yeah, I make choices sometimes.

So I did a little research into the subject and the big whoop-de-do in curling products is anything pretty much named after a desert.

Curling custards, puddings, meringue, buttercreams, etc.

And a few companies have really gotten on the bandwagon- Kinky Curly, Miss Jessie's, etc.

And you've probably seen these brands floating around Target and Ulta and never gave them much thought other than, "Oh, cute packaging."

But the fact of the matter is, I think they work.

AND HERE'S MY REASONING.

There's nothing worse to a curly haired girl than stroking gel through your hair and ending up with those 90's wet, crunchy noodle curls. NOTHING. NOTHING IS WORSE, I DARE YOU TO FIND WORSE IN THE HAIR WORLD.

Save from all your hair falling out, I think crunchy wet noodle curls are pretty high up there.

But the problem with this is that curls love gel. They really do. Creams, gels, anything thicker with a hold and they just gobble that stuff right up.

So here's why I think the confectionary based products are so successful- they're a little bit of everything and a little bit of nothing.

Curls, I feel, survive under 2 settings- nothing at all and everything. 

Only beach water, or 18 products. I don't know why. I don't know how. They just do sometimes. Especially when you have lose curls. Magic, I don't know.

So here's one of my favorites so far: Kinky-Curly original Curling Custard. (Mouthful, right?)

This 8oz bottle retails at Target for right around $17, and it's gonna take you a long, long, time to get through it. This is one of those products where I flinched buying it until I used it. 

You really only need a couple of swipes, genuinely. (I'm not gonna say what this stuff looks like, but we know what it looks like right?)

Here's what they say the product will do, right from the horse's mouth:

"CURLING CUSTARD TM gives moisture and curl definition, hold and brilliant shiny hair all in one product!It reduces bulk, defines & elongates your curls helping them to 'hang' better. CURLING CUSTARD TM will bring out the natural curl or wave pattern you never knew you had!It is an advanced botanical formula made with ALL NATURAL ingredients that nourish and strengthen the hair. Utilizing the humectant properties of the Agave Nectar, CURLING CUSTARD TM will give weight to your hair, define your curls, remove frizz, provide long lasting hold and shine without ever being greasy, crunchy or drying to your hair.This high performance product is very concentrated so a little goes a long way."

A little goes a long way is really accurate.

The funny thing about this custard is that it actually feels a little like custard texture-wise.  

The smell is heavenly, like a vanilla cake, or a vanilla marshmallow.

And as for what's actually in it- that was the real surprise.

Ingredients: Botanical infusion of water, horsetail, chamomile, nettle and marshmallow, organic aloe vera juice, agave nectar extract, vitamin e, pectin, citric acid, potassium sorbate, and natural fragrance.

I'm like 99% sure this is the actual ingredient list of custard. 

And also, this may be the most natural hair product I've ever used, save from just plain old water.

And the thing I love about companies who actually care about their curly clients, is they actually include how to apply the product and for SPECIFIC hair types. 

On the tub it actually gives general directions, for thick coarse curls, and for loose wavy curls.

It's like they know me, guys.

So, knowing I have loose wavy curls, I followed the directions given: Apply to damp or wet hair, scrunch into medium sections of the hair, flip head upside down to create more body.

So far so good at this point. My hair was definitely not looking any "curlier" than normal, but the s pattern was definitely there. At this point I was sort of like, "I don't get it". Usually when I use products meant for curls, by this point my hair is shrinking up, getting curlier, etc. And that's the confusing part of this particular product- it's really there to just enhance what you got going on. It's not going to use alcohols and things to shrink up the curls. It's really just hydrating your curls and giving the structure a bit of hold with the marshmallow and agave. 

And this is why I sort of suck at reviews. I usually just pin the bangs back and go to run my errands and live my life instead of focusing on the task at hand.

BUT HERE'S WHERE IT GOT INTERESTING.

So the left is my hair on the same day I styled it. Nothing too nuts right, just messy wavy curls.

So the next day, I do what I always do to refresh my curls- I brush through with a wide tooth comb (cause I got knots and my hair will try to dread overnight. I don't know why), I spray a fine layer of water all over to dampen, and then I use a tiny bit of whatever product I had used the day before to scrunch and revive the curls. (And normally, I have to recurl a lot of areas that wont curl.)

This is what I noticed first thing- I didn't really have to brush my hair. It was soft, it wasn't all clumped together in a gross greasy way. In fact, it was barely greasy at all- which was a big surprise. 

When I sprayed and scrunched my hair, it immediately came right back to life and areas that normally won't curl (the front sections by my ears, the bangs) were wavy and actually incredibly beautiful.

Below is my hair, waking up, pre-styling. When I added water and a tiny bit of the Kinky-Curly product, it produced more volume and shine.

So, the product works. Now for the facts curly girls want to hear:

How long did it (the curl) last? 

Girl. All day, every day.

I washed my hair and styled it as shone above, and I've been wetting and scrunching without washing it for 3 days. No greasy roots. The hair felt hydrated, but fluffy. My curls came back with no additional help. No flaking or general gross looking stuff. I think by the evening of the third day, I was kind of like, "Ok, definitely time to wash" and it was mostly because my hair looked flat and not because it looked disgusting.

Is it worth the money?

Yes, and if you find you need more hydration, less hold, or vise versa there's basically a million different textured products to work with- puddings are more creamy, meringues are lighter and fluffier. Basically if you know desert textures, you will find something you like.

Did you use anything else with the product that could have "helped"?

NOPE. I washed my hair with my normal stuff (Wella Elements shampoo/conditioner), and I used no other product except water. The end.

What did your hair feel like?

Surprisingly weighted enough to hold down frizz and give my hair a thicker feel, but not greasy or crunchy, and very very soft. Touchable enough that even Roger was like, "Oh, that was a surprise".

Did you have to go through with a curling iron to "fix" spots?

No. Normally I would with other sprays and crap I've used but this genuinely pushed my waves up and into very defined but pretty beach waves. What you're seeing is just my natural texture in one of it's better states.

Obviously though, if you're wanting something curlier, or in a different shape, you might have to fix areas or try a different product. But the custard is really just going to amplify whatever you have naturally coming out of your head. If you have beach waves like me and WANT something curlier, then you might have to find something else. However, I think if you wanted something less curly, this would be a good option because it does elongate the curl a bit.

I hope this helped you curly-girls. I know finding the right stuff can be a bit of a battlefield and leave you with a very full drawer and a very empty wallet.

-SamanthaK

The Wedding Series: The Beginning

The Wedding Series: The Beginning

So it's finally happening. The wedding planning is in full swing and things are starting to come together.

(Finally.)

(Sort of.)

(Not really, but yes.)

So one of my friends and readers Rachel, (hi Rachel!) immediately upon the news of the engagement was like, "You need to write blog posts about the wedding planning".

And I won't lie, part of me was terrified because telling you guys what to do about your hair or makeup is one thing and it's another sharing intimate details about how shitty I am about planning things.

The other part of me was like, this is going to be ridiculous and hilarious.

BUT I'M NOTHING IF NOT PAINFULLY HONEST AND HILARIOUSLY SELF-DEPRECATING.

So here we go.

Let's make this post our baseline, and lets talk about the general logistics of wedding.

I think step one is to bust out the pinterest board you've been making about your wedding. (Do not lie to me and say you don't have one. We all do, married or not, boyfriend or not. It's just what we do as crazy people.)

And I think the main thing to look at when you're viewing this board is the common threads and factors.

For example:

My board is full of intimate settings, good lighting, and not a whole lot of formality.

And as for the dress, I'm a little bit across the board but I did notice a small grouping of a similar, soft dress that still had a modest feel. 

I think step two really comes down to this distinct question:

What about your wedding is the most important to you?

For some couples it's food or the venue, for others it's creating and intimate feel and making the event "fun". Sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes the wedding itself isn't as important as just being married.

Which is kind of where Roger and I landed.

We've been hmm-hawing over this wedding for a couple months now and slowly but surely the wedding we had originally intended had blown up in our faces.

Because, here's the deal. Here's what no one will tell you when you're a bride:

When you're planning a wedding, almost everyone around you becomes an asshole.

It's true. And I'm sorry. 

Your cousin that you once had a very sweet relationship with will be pissed that you didn't pick her as a bridesmaid, your husband or wives ex's will come out of the woodwork to call you all kinds of names, YOUR ex's will suddenly text you or call you to passively aggressively congratulate you, your aunties will be mad you're not doing a bigger wedding, your father will tell you you are doing TOO big of a wedding, your husband wants to invite his coworkers which takes your originally 40 person wedding up into the 80's.

And I don't think people try to be rude intentionally. Wedding planning is a bit of a minefield of feelings and you do your best not to step on too many toes. Everyone has ideas of what they think you should be doing or what you want and they will be wrong- horribly, painfully, wrong. 

So the wedding that Roger and I had put together at the start soon turned into a bit of a monster. There were suddenly a lot of flowers, and a dance floor, and chandeliers, and a Cinderella stage coach- and really all these things we thought we had to include because everyone was so insistent on it. 

But, here's our "dirty" secret. Roger and I are paying for this wedding, and when we finally did the tallies- it was almost a 100 person wedding with almost $7k of decor.

There was just no way. There wasn't. And it wasn't a matter of "we can't afford these things", it was "I didn't even want these things to begin with and now everyone's getting a fancy party at my expense?"

I gave myself an eye twitch and started to obsess about it to the point that Roger (bless his level-headed soul) finally had to stop me and say, "What do you really want?"

When it really came down to it, neither one of us cared about the wedding that much. There were things we'd like to have- games, good food, fun atmosphere, but when push came to shove we were more invested in our marriage together AFTER the wedding. 

Weddings have spiraled into a stress inducing, family splitting event in the last few decades. What was once a small ceremony and cake has turned into a $30k Frankenstein monster, and it gives brides a complex.

Am I doing enough? Am I pretty enough? Are people going to remember this day?

And that just isn't important. What's important is to exchange vows, and make a promise to another human being that MEANS something. It's not the wedding you remember, it's the beginning of your marriage.

Sometimes brides are afraid to put their foot down because they think they're being bride-zillas. 

And let me tell you right now, it is ok to ask for what you want. 

So we struck a compromise.

We were going back to the small, intimate party we had originally intended AND we are moving it to the backyard.

And I know you guys are like, "Are you serious right now?"

But here's the pro's to doing it old-school:

-The cost is significantly lower.

You're renting tables and chairs, and you're buying food. The end.

And honestly, any money you have left from the wedding is honeymoon money in my opinion.

-Family members will actually be able to help.

Many members of the family will offer an engaged couple their "help"- whether it's tying 50 bows onto chairs or setting up tables. Sometimes when we throw big weddings, a lot of things are included in the price we pay- set ups, clean ups, wedding favors, etc, and it leaves a lot of family feeling "left out" and they will begin to call the bride incessantly to "help with something" and instead drive her crazy.

Or maybe this is just my family, who knows.

But honestly, if they offer help- they really want to do it. They just want to feel like they aided you in the marriage one way or another. If they're crafty- maybe have them put together a photo booth, or if they are good cooks, maybe have them help you pick out a wedding cake. There's a role for everyone.

*Bridal tip: Don't exclude the groom's side. Sometimes they don't know you well enough to ask to help, but it's important to include them on something. They're going to be your family too and it's a good plan to get them in on the action. 

If your family is anything like my family- if you don't include them on the helping, they will be brats. Just sayin.

-Any work you put into the "venue" aka your house, you can reap the benefits on for years.

This was a main reason Roger and I wanted to move the party home. We can actually use the "wedding budget" on fixing up the house for our guests. And any lights or decor we buy, we can use again. The plan is lots of lights, lanterns on shepherds hooks, and really putting some time into the landscaping.

-Your wedding memories are your home memories.

Every picture you take will include your home. Every time you walk around your house, you'll remember exactly where you exchanged vows. 

Maybe I'm sentimental, but this particular "pro" gave me butterflies. Roger and I don't plan on moving and we're establishing roots here. How cool will it be to tell our kids how they're standing where we got married?

And for an alternate option:

When my aunt got married, she went to Hawaii with a very small group of family members and did the ceremony there- THEN came home and had the reception a few weeks later in her parent's backyard.

You could always elope or be married somewhere more private that has meaning to you both as a couple and then throw the party later. (This is an idea I'm still toying with. Can you do a wedding in Disneyland without getting busted? Anyone know? Anyone? Bueller?) 

So for the beginning of your wedding planning- look through your pinterest or magazines or whatever you kids use these days and figure out what your vibe is and then ask yourself what's the most important thing about a wedding to you. (The answer may surprise you).

Everything from there will just fall into place- even setting a date.

-SamanthaK