Golden Globes 2015: Praises and Rants

Golden Globes 2015: Praises and Rants (aka the time I slowed down your computer with pics)


*sips coffee, starts music*

Ok, let's dish.

Where do I even start?

First of all, did my blog get passed around Hollywood or something?

 I swear, everyone was like, "Hey, remember that girls' rant from last year? Let's all give a retro throwback and finally dress like we're actually going to a prestigious awards show that spends a billion dollars just to honor us and give us free food."

I'm so impressed this year, I didn't even really know where to start. It took me awhile just to gather pictures up and sort our my thoughts!

First of all, let me nod to the vixens in the mix.

Laura Prepon, you are a gothic goddess. Your upclose makeup is divine and that dress is doing everything right.

And JESSICA CHASTAIN, the suprise of the evening in the bronze gathered dress. I can't even. The red retro waves. Fskgfoisdhfgijhbasflkwand'flkasnfas, brain explosion. She, funny enough, wasn't even on my radar until now. That bitch needs a closer eye!

And then the big trend was a sea of red and one of my favorite retro trends- matching lipstick to your dress.

I realize it became very out of fashion to match your shit together. In the 50's, it was a faux-pas to not match you nails, lips and dress and frankly I KIND OF MISS THAT ATTENTION TO DETAIL. I'm very happy it's coming back- and in a big, red way no less!

(And side discussion, I am so happy it was primarily more mature actresses that went with the red trend. Like, who better to wear a red dress than Helen Mirren and Jessica Lange. Like, don't they just look like they descend staircases in plantation houses every day of their lives?)

And then, like small glimmers- there was a little trickle of white.

And sweet Jesus, was it good.

Like, ok, normally I would be giving beef over Emily Blunts braids and messier hair but with the Grecian (Michael Kors no less) dress, it was like a little beacon of light from the heavens and birds helped her put on those (FREAKING AMAZING) earrings, and a small deer helped her pick her shoes. 

I don't even, perfection. Just perfection.

And Kate Hudson's body is so amazing I'm not surprised she went for a showier dress. (I'd go to a show naked if I had a bod like that. True facts. I'd burn all my clothes in a bon-fire.)

AND THEN, silver- and silver in the most amazing way.

Sequins and shimmers and mattes, and rhinestones galore. I just. Wow, what a cool color to pick for this.

My favorite would probably be Krugers' matte shimmer which is so cool and interesting. ALTHOUGH JULIANNE MOORE IN THAT CUSTOM GIVENCHY RIGHT?! 

For the record though, I am on the fence about J-Lo. Like, obviously girls' got a rockin' bod and she's cultivated a look for herself over the past 80 years. (I imagine sometimes there's a portrait of J-Lo aging somewhere for her in someone's basement while she roams the earth forever as an attractive woman) but GIRL, THAT LOOK IS TIRED. 

The big trend of the year though was definitely shimmer.
There were rhinestones and glimmer a plenty. There were mattes and metallics galoorrreee.

You want shine? THERE WERE LIKE, 20.

And usually first-times or celebrities who haven't lost their excitement for awards season yet wear color.

Felicity Jones in teal Dior though, suuuuuper fly. I mean, maybe the cut wasn't the most flattering, but it was so very elegant. (And matching eyeshadow! Ah! Love!)

And then small addition here:

I love that Lorde did this weird Madonna-esque, 90's crop top suit thing.

Normally I would be spitting fire, but I actually sort of fell in love with this. No explanation necessary.

And then fucking Lupita Nyong'o came out in a purple blaze and left FIRE ON THE CARPET.

That girl is so on it, I can't even keep up. I love her in her natural hair with that stunning makeup (which I will get to later) and that stunner dress (which oddly enough everyone predicted Felicity Jones (left) to wear). Lupita just makes my heart sing.

And now for some dress rants.

 What the ever living fuck.
(Sorry Mom, I couldn't help it)

FIRST OF ALL, WHO CHOSE THIS LENGTH. ZAC POSEN, I KNOW YOU DID LENA DUNHAMS DRESS. I AM SHAKING A FINGER AT YOU.

This whole cut up the front thing is so unattractive, especially on Kerry Washington. I mean, the top of that dress isn't doing too many favors either, but why cut it at the ankles? WHY.

And Lena Dunham, I mean, that girls makeup is so fly and you can tell she was really trying hard this year but ZAC POSEN, WHY WOULD YOU LET HER LEAVE IN THIS ONE? What kind of girlfriend are you?! Rule one, never let a girl leave in a dress you designed lookin' like that. It makes you look bad! Zac Posen, shame on you. You should know better, you had like 10 girls in your dresses- get your shit together.

 AND THEN WTF KIERA KNIGHTLY. Your Chanel makeup is flawless, but WHO LET YOU LEAVE IN THIS. I realize you are pregnant, and this is also vintage Chanel, BUT COME ON. THAT IS HIDEOUS. And the matching hand piece and hair piece. f;klasfjgliksjghljhserrglawkgjhlsdfkjdgh

Excuse me while I cool off...


Claire Danes, I know you normally are a little wild with your fashion, but this is a matronly disaster and DON'T THINK YOU'RE FOOLING ANYONE WITH THE CLEAVAGE. THIS DRESS IS NOT SEXY. Damn girl. Lookin' like you're wearing a meemaw dress that you cut open.

And now, allow me to turn my rant onto George Clooney's new wife- Amal.

This is a smart woman, like crazy smart. And she's married to, oh I don't know, one of the richest and most influental men ever.

AND SHE WORE THOSE FUCKING GLOVES.

Urgh, God. Look man, I love women who try to bring something back and opera gloves were a good choice but here's how bringing something back works-

YOU HAVE TO NAIL IT, OTHERWISE PEOPLE THINK IT'S DUMB AND THE TREND WILL LIVE AND DIE ONLY WITH YOU.

This is bullshit.

I want opera gloves, or just gloves in general to make a comeback BUT THESE LUMPY OVERSIZED DISASTERS RUINED IT FOR EVERYONE.

And, while I'm on fire here- WHAT IS HAPPENING TO YOUR HAIR. That looks like the grease ball disaster situation from last year! Don't you read my blog Amal? Did the other girls not pass my words of wisdom along?

Your makeup and dress are so fly and YET YOU RUINED ALL THAT HARD WORK.

GREAT DISAPPOINT.


BUT, there was a saving grace at the Golden Globes- there were so very few makeups I did not like.

Here's some of my favorites.

Smokey eyes, super classic.

 Perfection skin.

Small flushes of color.

 Stunning, not overdone eyes.

Light berry lips.

Laura Prepon making me super happy (except for those 90's eyebrows but I can't get on that rant- it'll last forever).

 I just loved that everything wasn't TOO overdone or on the flip-side too light. Everyone had a little something going on. Even the splashes of color like on Lupita or Felicity Jones weren't super bold.

And good Lord, can we just appreciate Lupita Nyong'o for like a brief moment. That women is a national treasure. Her skin is so flawless, her makeup is so subtle but sooooo pretty. She's such a breath of fresh air for me. In a sea of similar colors she always sticks out (in a good way) and separates herself. I hope Hollywood doesn't crush her, genuinely. I want her to be happy all the time. I just want good things for her.


But like anything in the world, there were a few times I was very upset.

And here's my very small rant.

Again, Guiliana Ranic? Again with this nude lip? Really bitch?

I will say this, at least her tan is slightly better. It's not nearly as orange-y as usual.

BUT THAT CONTOUR, GIRL. YOU ONLY WEIGH 4 POUNDS, STOP CONTOURING.

At least her nude lip has the tiniest bit of pink so it doesn't look exactly like her tan and therefore giving her no mouth in the slightest.

BUT HERE'S WHERE MY BEEF LIES.

She posted this picture earlier saying she was getting ready for the Globes and I was fucking pumped. That picture is amazing. Her dark lip, the sideswept hair. I just. IT'S SO GOOD. And then she shows up in the nude lip and the bullshit loose waves everyone else did and I just lost it.

DON'T BE A TEASE.

She literally has 800 commercial breaks and I'm assuming someone on staff who's job is literally to reapply lipstick and powder away the shine- why did she not go for the bold lip? Why won't you just make me happy, G? Why?

And speaking of weird ass tans.

I felt like a LOT of people got tans for the event and didn't rinse it off after. There was a sea of orange tans. It was kind of insane. I know sometimes the photographers use filters or yellow lights because it usually is more flattering but this is definitely a tanning issue. 

And to make matters worse, I don't know who was in charge of the A/C at the event, but EVERYONE was sweating like crazy. I mean it was insane. At one point Kristin Wiig looked like she was melting on stage and when it panned to the audience, she wasn't the only one. EVERYONE was sweating and that's when the tans became super obvious. It was kind of that "oh shit" moment.

People, get the tan the day before and rinse off the morning of. Tanning 101 here.




But really, with all the dresses and makeup and hair looks, it was kind of the height of glamour for me personally. It felt like everyone looked like the best and most amazing version of themselves. It wasn't too trendy or crazy, it wasn't too messy (like last year, wtf) and even though mostly everyone did a version of the messy wave hair, it still felt SO intentional.

Although, the Hollywood waves guys- I hope that becomes a thing. I want that all the time for everyone always forever.


So to sum it all up:

Retro trends for hair and makeup.

Silver, red, and rhinestones all day every day.

Wear head to toe butterflies if you want to get made fun of (by me).


If you missed the Globes, they are replaying today and of course you can catch all the dress action online. Or if you are like me, you're gonna watch Fashion Police and yell at Guiliana Rancic wearing nude lipstick for the billionth time.

-SamanthaK

2014 New Years Resolutions: How did I do?

2014 New Years Resolutions: How did I do?

In case you forgot, I made resolutions last year. 

Now ideally, people like to uphold all of them- but I'm the kind of girl who goes on a grading system. Like, did I do over 80%? Then, cool, I got basically a B- at life. WHICH RIGHT NOW WOULD BE OK, TBH.

Now, I did do a mid-way update- SO WHAT I'll DO is post the original statement, then the halfway update and THEN what happened in the end.

LETS SEE ME FALL FLAT ON MY FACE (Mentally, not like, literally.)

"1. I'm not going to beat myself up over dumb things. 
Changes are hard and eventually you will fall, but it's not a big deal. It just isn't."

Midway: I'm actually doing really well on this one. I have been really kind to myself these last few months and it's showing. I will say a lot of my self anxiety stemmed from what I assumed others were thinking, and I DID give that up- because you know what? I shouldn't really care- unless it comes to my client and I'm getting paid to know what they want. Generally speaking though, I started doing what I felt was right for me and it's paying off.

Now: I wish I could say I stuck with this, but anxiety and depression are hard. It's a lot of the "one day at a time" theory- you just have to take everything on as it comes along. I will say this though, talking to someone who is outside of your bubble and is objective about situations really helped me. Roger is very, very much like me in that he can remove himself from his emotions and really look at something with a fresh eye. Talking to him and really opening up about my anxiety put a lot into perspective for me and actually helped him to understand where I was coming from. Bottling things up inside really made him feel left out and he was at a loss as to why I was in bed all day or why I was irritated the minute I woke up. He didn't know how I was feeling because I genuinely didn't share. He was very understanding, and kind of knew exactly what to say to make me feel like I wasn't crazy- I just didn't have the support and tools to get through my feelings.

All in all, I took a lot of steps forward this year, so I did pretty well. I will always have anxiety and depression, but knowing at the end of the day, I get to come home to someone I trust with my feelings makes my life a great deal easier.

"2. I'm going to start running. I know it sucks, but it clears my head and keeps me tired. Plus it's free, and you have an excuse to wear adorable work out clothes and listen to cool running mixes on your ipod."

Midway: This one I gave up on. Running actually doesn't work well for me. I ended up blowing out my bad knee a few times and it threw off my schedule a lot. HOWEVER, I did change up my diet a lot, lost a couple pounds and I'm now getting more into "burn" yoga- where everything is tiny, isolated movements your body hasn't made in years and you sweat a ton. That ends up working out a lot better for me. I commit better to yoga. (Plus my yoga mat is adorable and I can do it inside where no one can see my fat jiggling.)

Now: Yeah I never went back to running. My exercise routine was good for a minute there but I burned out when work got intense (especially wedding season). My diet is still pretty good though, and I'm trying to listen to my body a lot more. In the last couple months I got sick a handful of times and it really knocked me down for awhile so I'm trying to get back in the swing of things, but it's hard for me. My body hasn't come back fully and I'm noticing that when I try to get into my old routine but body isn't liking it anymore- so I need to find a rhythm that works for what I'm doing NOW. It's trial and error, but maybe it'll be easier to replace some of my older/badder habits.

I have no pics of me running, so here's a photo of me eating ribs.

"3. I'm going to ride horses again. In exchange for a stupid exercise regime you're going to dread for awhile, do one you'll actually like."

Midway: AND I HAVE BEEN. The horse I normally ride has some feet problems again so I'm riding a shorter horse that bounces too much, but he's adorable and I love him.

Now: I gave up on riding for awhile there. Between the erratic schedule of work- it got difficult for a long period of time. Plus my coach (Roger's mom) broke her collar bone and then her ribs breaking in a new filly so I had to wait awhile so she could recooperate.... probably didn't help that the horse that was perfect for me (height, gait, etc) ended up dying- SOOOOO I'm a little stuck right now. Roger's mom has been healing up really well though and is ready for me to come out so now it's a matter of finding another horse to live up to Bourbon's legacy.

Damn, I miss that horse though.

"4. I'm going back to the shooting range and I'm getting my hunters license. Yeah I know, you're probably like, "Sweet Jesus, she shoots guns?!" and then you touch your pearls and scornfully look at me. Yes, I shoot guns. I used to do it and I miss it and it was fun. I was licensed by the way, I'm not just like, shooting in the open air like some heathen."

Midway: AND I DID. It was a long day, but my teacher was amazing and I got a 99% on my test. I only missed one question- resulting in high fives from everyone in the class. So bam.

Now: Still have it. Super proud of it.

"5. Even though it sucks being an adult, I'm just going to do my best. You're not going to leave a mountain of dishes in the sink and sleep on a pile of clean clothes. Despite Roger's very sweet nature, we know he's getting tired of your shit and you should probably do something about it."

Midway: I have been trying really hard at this. It's been difficult since I've been at work more consistently, and cleaning at home has gone to the side a little, BUT the dishes are done and the floor is always swept and frankly that's all I care about.

Now: Won't even lie- shit got crazy during December. I got everything put together for my annual Christmas boutique and then I got sick so many times everything pretty much went to pot. There are gifts everywhere that I can't find a place for and a mountain of dishes I haven't done in awhile. SHIT GOT REAL GUYS, and poor Roger is working full time and was trying to keep a full on cleaning schedule. He's not a cleaner guys, he really isn't. He knows how to maintain the clean, but he has no idea how to deep clean anything. He only just learned you can clean a shower with bleach.

This year though, I think I'm going to tear apart the house and really reorganize cabinets and things- throwing away stuff I'm not using and putting things away better so everything fits.

Like, honestly, who the hell needs so many spatulas?

I don't have a pic of my dirty house or of me being domestic, so here's my house at Christmas. 

"6. Read all those books I've been wanting to read but never did because who knows why. You're going to read that book about Walt Disney that they train cast members on. You're going to read that book about the escort that charges $2,000 an hour. You're also going to read that book about authentic vintage hairstyles and you're going to try and do them- even if you suck at authentic finger waves."

Midway: I've been reading a ton. I actually took a couple weeks for a mini break because I was reading non-stop. I read Sugar-Babe (a book/diary of an Australian lady who decides to get a sugar daddy so she can be a professional writer) and I'm working my way through the Pretty Little Liars series (because I'm 12, apparently). 

I finished a few other shorter series and a handful of random books I've always WANTED to start... so really, this is definitely the resolution I've been nailing.

Now: The sheer amount of books I read this year is insane. My e-reader is so full now. Roger's actually a really big reader/writer too, so we've actually been throwing book ideas back and forth and reading stuff together. It's super cute and I love it.

"7. State Board is coming, and I'm going to rock it. You've been studying for days and frankly, you can't afford to fail it. "

Midway: I rocked it. I rocked it big time.

Now: Seriously though, I nailed it.

"8. Sometime this year, I'm going to save up and buy that ipad I want. You've always been pretty shitty about saving money for things and you usually end up blowing it on the Naked palettes and sushi, but you can do this. You've already got $400, you're literally over halfway there for the fancy one you like. Your birthday is coming up, and you're selling some furniture. You are literally on 3rd base waiting to run home. How bad-ass are you going to feel buying yourself something awesome? Because you're a fucking professional and you need it for work."

Midway: WELL, after my dog breaking one of the windows and a couple other small disasters, my savings has run short. I'm still trying to put money away for an ipad, but honestly I think I might just have to put it to the side for now. Life is just too expensive at the moment. (PLUS THE MORTGAGE, SHEESH.)

Now: Fun story, Roger actually surprised me with a Google Nexus 7. So I know it's not an ipad, but it's actually better for me and what I'm doing and I love that thing to death. We're still talking about an ipad so we don't have to share a tablet, but it's not a big whoop right now.

So technically I didn't save up for it, which was the original intent. Ideally, it was about money management and learning how to save for something and I didn't do that with the tablet- BUT I DID WITH OTHER THINGS. So, I'm gonna count this as a win.

"9. I'm going to grow out my hair again. The short hair was a fun ride, but lets face it- you love sassy ponytails and princess buns. Stop trying to cut it- just let Stephanie fix it as it grows out. She'll get you there, just stop being dumb and let it grow. By the way, stop forgetting to buy biotin. "

Midway: I DID buy Biotin, and my hair IS growing out- slowly but surely. I've been attempting to keep it healthy, but you know how that goes...

Now: It is growing and it's finally getting longer. I made a couple mistakes along the way, but it's a growing process (hardy har har). It's finally at the, like, armpit length and it's getting healthier. I stopped lightening it and just stuck to a glaze that's around my natural color and I will say it's made a big difference. Plus, I'm using more oils and generally sacrificing volume for the sake of shine and health. I do miss my big hair, but I know when it's long and doesn't break off when someone touches it, I'll be very happy.

Sorry guys, this is about as current as it gets. I rarely take selfies anymore of my hair because I wear it up so often. STORY OF MY LIFE. Just imagine it slightly longer, and a shiny mid-brown color.

"10. Go back to doing things that you loved. You used to love waterskiing and volunteering at the animal shelter. You officially have all the time in the world and no more excuses to use. Just do it, you'll be happier in the long run."

Midway: The funny thing is I haven't done any of the things I listed above recently, but I did pick up new hobbies. I'm back to making jewelry and writing for funsies, and it's really helped to keep me focused on keeping my life fun. I have a tendency to become a work-a-holic if given the option.

Now: STILL A WORK-A-HOLIC though, but yeah I have done more hobby-ish things in the past year. I'm reading, writing here and there, and I did a lot of day-trips.Traveling for me isn't stressful at all, and in fact it's really cathartic. I went up to Shaver Lake a lot more than usual, Roger and I did a lot of charity dog-walks, and I bummed around Cambria and Solvang. Work wise, I went to Napa a couple times, and off to the coast to assist for a friend in a wedding she was working. In fact, this year I'm going to Disneyland for my birthday so I'm kind of starting the year off with a trip. I don't know is travel is technically a hobby, but I'm gonna count it.

All in all, I'm going to say it was a B+ year. A lot of ups and downs, but generally I did pretty good in my resolutions. A few I had to give up on a little (either for health reasons, or mental reasons) but overall, it was pretty good.

And if nothing else, even if I didn't hit all the resolutions, I fulfilled a lot of other categories. I was happier on the average, Roger and I grew closer as a couple and I made a lot of life choices in my route to growing as an adult.

And really, that's more important I think.

Hope you all had a B+ year (or better I guess but lets be real, a B+ is pretty damn good),

-SamanthaK