The Wedding Series: Wedding Dress Shopping (part 2: The reckoning)

The Wedding Series: Wedding Dress Shopping (part 2: The reckoning)

So we all remember the nightmare that was wedding dress shopping right?

If not, please allow yourself to scroll further down my posts until you find the first try-on session. It's worth looking at, I promise. There's some embarrassing pictures of me- you'll love it.

So allow me to fill you in on what's happened since then.

FIRSTLY, the wedding was scaled down a ton, basically we were turning into a 20 person small wedding/elopement. AND I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING PARENTS.

Actually the fathers were super on board with it, the mothers tarred and feathered me so to say. (But in the nicest of ways, I promise.)

So once again the wedding scaled right back up and again Roger and I have been sentenced to live in the poor house for many years. (Joke's on you parents, now we can't afford to have your precious grand-children right away. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.)

With wedding dress shopping part one, I think you all saw that the dresses I was trying on were maaaaaaybe a bit out of the range in terms of the venue, the price, etc. And yes, I agree they were pretty much all terrible.

So allow me to spin you a tale:

So literally in the last week or so, we decided on a wedding day, we saw a venue, we booked a venue, we met with a caterer/baker, we picked out our flowers, we booked our rentals, we decided on decor, and somewhere in the mix of that we suddenly did the math and figured out I'd have to pick a dress in a matter of a week or 2 to have time to order it and have it tailored by the wedding.

It only occurred to me that the wedding is in 7 months. Now for those of you who have done a wedding before, you're all starting to panic with me. 7 MONTHS DOESN'T MEAN SHIT IN THE WEDDING WORLD APPARENTLY. 

I have been yelled at no more than on several occasions for not having this planning done MONTHS ago. 

Also, my apologies to anyone who has started freaking out because they've heard literally nothing about my wedding in a very long time- that is because nothing has happened til last week. MY BAD.

So the panic of wedding dress shopping finally set in and in a big, big way.

So I decided long ago I didn't want to have a dress made. It's too much lost in confusion, I didn't want to open myself up for miscommunication on something really important and frankly- I don't know shit about wedding dresses and fabrics. The dress maker would have probably murdered me before the process was over.

My only option from there is to hit the stores.

I went to a boutique style place first and honestly, it wasn't a bad experience at all. I popped in by myself, I tried on some stuff and ultimately it wasn't a bad day. It actually helped me narrow it down by a lot. Of course I sent pictures to my mom, of course she cried over one that I didn't like and insisted I should have bought it, and she needed to see it and all that. (Basically it was like the first time trying dresses on- something looked good on me, I hated it, everyone was pissed.)

Also, I did take pictures, but I accidentally deleted them so, whoops. Deal with it.

So then I popped to another shop a block over and there was literally nothing in there I liked. I didn't try a single thing on. It was all ball gown and puff-balls galore. It was all bad.

So I was out with my mom on another day and she basically twisted my arm into going to this place that we all know it's terribly over my budget. I kind of fretted about it a bit but when your mom tells you to do something- you kind of just have to do it. Like anyone in a good southern-German family- you learn to fear your mother.

Also, she had been spending days trying to convince me to do to San Francisco to find dresses and I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN EXPENSIVE.

We must have looked around forever and I could see the appointment going downhill because frankly, I am very picky. I think most people who have gone clothes shopping with me know that by now. I will turn away things based on ANYTHING I don't like- which is why I went shopping by myself beforehand. If the sales-person hates me, I don't care. If it's my mom, I feel bad.

So I agreed to try on 2 dresses. One I actually cared about and one that was totally just for my mom to have that ~*~*~*ExPeRiEnCe~*~*~*.

As we can see, there is a small look of horror on my face by this point.

But honestly, this is what really happened and what saved the appointment:

So this is actually the second dress I put on. The first one, a completely different style I put on I actually hated at first- but when I went out into the natural light- it all of a sudden came into place. I had a feeling it might be a contender because I was sort of reluctant to take it off.

My mom and I couldn't figure out what it was about the first dress we didn't like, but there was something kind of off about it. Yes it was a less than traditional color and even a non-traditional style but it was the first time I felt something bridal and special and so it was a very confusing couple of minutes. It wasn't til I started playing with the straps that all of a sudden it was like, BOOM. Once I altered the straps a little it was like, precision perfect. Even with my slightly pudgy belly and arms, my disgusting hair, and  the fact that I was sweating a little- I felt good about myself and my body.

And no one cried. Somehow my mother managed to keep it together, I got my bridal moment, and everything was pretty good.

But of course you don't stop at the first dress, and this is when the puff ball arrived. 

My theme is kind of Southern Gothic- which is the bane of my family's existence right now because they want southern elegance/burlap and lace. And when I say, "Yeah but add black to it" they all kind of flipped out and spun off into space and their heads probably exploded. 

So my mom pulled this one which is very traditional southern and very popular with the brides in my area.

So I'm sliding this 3 inch thick, completely boned, monstrosity on and I had a feeling this was going to be a problem. These are the kinds of dresses I look good in, great even. BUT while everyone is focused on how it looks, I'm sweating to death inside a sausage casing. Needless to say, this is not my favorite look. In fact, it's kind of a nightmare for me. 

Preparing for a verbal rumble, I came out to the bridal floor, wearing a dress that honestly had no marks against it other than I just hated it. 

And my mom laughed.

She straight up laughed at me.

And then I laughed, and she said, "I'm sorry, it's not that it looks bad. It just doesn't look like you at all."

And that was it. I took off that dress and that was the end of the puff-ball dresses. I have yet to try on another one, and I don't think I ever will (God willing.)

It's been about a week or so since that other dress and I'm still thinking about it. Every time I show someone pictures of it, they don't know what to think at first but they all come around to it once I tell them the full plan. 

My mother in law cried though, which I'll take as a good sign.

So now the plan is to finally round the girls up and take them over there to get a final verdict but I'm 99% it's a winner.

WHICH IS WHY I CAN'T POST ANY MORE PICTURES, SORRY.

I don't want to ruin the surprise, trolls!

Umm, so advice time, I guess.

Don't get too caught up, try to enjoy the process.

Do whatever your mom says, unless she's telling you to buy a dress you don't like. I didn't have that problem exactly, but I did have people trying to push me into dresses I know I didn't like. 

You're allowed to be picky. It's a very expensive wedding dress and it's going to be in all of your pictures. Try to find something you love and not something you can "deal with".

Searching for a dress is like finding a husband. I thought Roger was weird at first too, and I tried to find flaws but it turned out it was perfect for me despite it being "nontraditional". 

Turns out weird and nontraditional are kind of my thing. Who would have known?

-SamanthaK

My Too Faced Love Affair

My Too Faced Love Affair

Can we just talk about Too Faced for a minute?

The whole affair with the brand started with a couple little randoms here and there. You know, the little travel sized bottles in the check out line, the Christmas sets that show up every year in adorable packaging, etc.

So one day in the checkout line, they had one of those little boxed samples of the Chocolate Soliel Bronzer and the Better than Sex Mascara together.

WELL WE ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THE MASCARA.

Photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/mascaras/better-than-sex-mascara/

This is by far one of the best mascaras I have ever used and I wish this came in every color of the rainbow and in waterproof so that it would be the only brand I would ever need in my entire life because this is the shit. Seriously, this mascara is THE SHIT. I haven't used any other (except my one waterproof mascara. Seriously, Too Faced, why isn't the Better than Sex mascara in waterproof too?) mascara since discovering this.

Like, do you want your lashed big, fat, and fluffy (like me? jk.) ? Yes, you do. Everyone does. Don't be that guy who bucks the system just because you wanna feel different.


And the bronzer you ask?

photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/bronzers/chocolate-soleil/

It's also amazing. It's so rich in it's pigment, easy to blend, not too orangey but still warm. My only gripe is more of a personal gripe- which is the color is too dark for me. BUT, FEAR NOT FRIENDS! Too Faced makes a lighter version of this called Milk Chocolate and a darker one called Dark Chocolate SO WE CAN ALL BE BEAUTIFULLY BRONZED.

For me though, because the color is darker, I can use it as more of a warm contour shade SO, it's not a total loss. (Plus it was a sample size, so, it's not like it's gonna take me forever to get through it.)

So then, there was a ton of hype surrounding the chocolate bar themed palette and because I'm a sucker for hype sometimes- I bought it.

Photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/eye-shadow-palettes/chocolate-bar-eye-shadow-collection/

All of the "chocolate" stuff from Too Faced (the bronzer as mentioned above, the cocoa powder foundations, the chocolate bar palette, etc) has the nicest scent of cocoa powder. It's delicious. I usually gravitate to those products purely for the smell alone. 

But aside from that, the colors on this palette are LOVELY. Now, that being said, there are some colors I wish would have been swapped out. Not so much because they aren't nice and the pigmentation is terrible, but because a lot of the colors are a bit too similar for my personal taste. I wouldn't have mind if some of the middle range shimmer shades were just done in matte, or something like that so they didn't seem TOO similar. You can kinda tell on the left hand side there's a couple shades in there that are pretty similar.

BUT, I kinda get it. I mean, when you theme something to chocolate, you kinda have to stick to chocolate shades and there's only so many candy browns in the world. (Except, wtf, why is there a purple in there? Like I get the cherry chocolate one, but that purple is like, what? Why?)

So then I kind of went crazy down the Too Faced Train....

Photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/foundations/cocoa-powder-foundation/

The Cocoa Powder Foundation is so nice. Super nicely milled, easy to apply, color (on me) is perfect. Just slightly yellow enough to cover weird redness, great for those off days where you don't really wanna wear foundation. (If you're using this as a setting powder though, it's a bit too... hydrating (lol. what? It's a powder. I know. Just roll with me.) to make that happen for a long day.)

And usually, I'll wear this powder on top of...

Photo: Musings of a Muse

The Air Buffed BB Creme- which they don't sell on their website anymore.

HOWEVER, my local Nordstrom Rack is amazing for makeup for some reason and I find a TON of Too Faced stuff there usually. (I got the BB cream and the cocoa powder foundation from there)

The bb cream is super nice- IF you don't have super oily skin. Despite my skin being oily, it's quite dehydrated so it acts a little more like combination skin and I can pull off wearing this with some powder without any problems. It's a very light handed coverage but in combination with the powder- it can get to a medium coverage. 

(Note: for the pale ladies, they actually make this in a very very light shade called... snow? I believe? Might be snow bunny. And it's PERFECT.)

Photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/foundations/born-this-way-foundation/vanilla-fair-light-with-neutral-to-pink-undertones/

The Born This Way foundation (Is Lady Gaga gonna sue over this? Does anyone know?) is INSANELY AMAZING.

Short story, my skin is a nightmare. Between the oily/dehydrated fiasco, I always have flaky skin, large pores... it's just... I hate my skin so much.

THIS MAKES ME LOOK LIKE THE PORCELAIN GODDESS I ALWAYS KNEW I COULD BE.

Seriously, I don't know if it's the coconut water/hylarounic acid combination or just the liquid/cream love child consistency or what, but I have never ever looked better. I have constant complements on my skin when I wear this and it gives the nicest finish. It's dewy but not sweaty, solid but not matte.

Rose petal would probably be the best description I could give. It's very velvety and soft. The coverage is... medium to full I would say but definitely buildable. It feels like you're wearing nothing when it's all blended in and it sets very very well. I always go over it with powder around my eyes and nose and stuff- but you could probably get away without it. It's pretty pricey, but it's SO SO SO SO SO worth it.

(And note for the ladies: The porcelain shade was a shade too dark for me, but they are releasing lighter and darker shades this fall SO WE CAN ALL BE BEAUTIFUL SMOOTH SKINNED BEAUTIES.)

Photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/lipsticks/la-creme/

This is La Creme Color Drenched lipstick and it's legit. 

Honestly, lipsticks and such is kind of a mess for me usually. I'm a picker, a lip biter, etc. Lipstick has always been the one thing I wish I could wear nicely and just can't. It always wears off on me super fast BECAUSE I EAT AND DRINK ALL THE DAMN TIME, but lipstick is just one of those things where you put it on and you feel like a damn lady. I can't live without it.

SO, that being said. I love this stuff. It's hydrating and workable and when I have to reapply 8 times in the day it doesn't cake up and get gross in the corners- YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T.

I have a couple different shades, but my stand-out is definitely Nude Beach. It's that perfect nude that has the hint-iest of pink and brown in it so you don't look completely dead but it doesn't compete with that dope smokey eye you spent 2 hours doing.

Lastly, I have to talk about the Melted Lipsticks.

Photo: Too Faced website

https://www.toofaced.com/p/lipsticks/melted/

Ok, so I only have one of these but I got it in a color that's not the most flattering on me and therefore it's not my most favorite thing. HOWEVER, for the sake of the blog and everyone wanting to know more about these lipsticks- I wore the shade for a few days so we could get the jist of it. Because I'm not one of those bloggers who hates on something because I personally made the mistake of getting a color that didn't work on me.

SO, aside from the shade, this lipstick is amazing. It's exactly what I personally would want from one of these melted lipstick sort of formulas. 

Matte but not too matte, comfortable to wear but doesn't slide around all day, sets like a stain but isn't drying, looks good through eating and drinking, minimal amount of reapply times in the day, doesn't goop up, need the tiniest amount when applying so you aren't wasting a ton of it, can wear it with barely any product for a "stain" look or can apply a normal amount for full coverage, doesn't seep into fine lines around my mouth, etc.

Ok, obviously I really liked this stuff. I've teamed it up with glosses for a shinier look too and that totally works. 

My ONLY real gripe with this is the application process and even that's not really a big deal. Instead of this having like, a doe foot wand or a small brush, the whole head of it is the doe foot style applicator and you just squeeze the tube and apply it straight on. Now, for me this isn't a big deal- but for the smaller lipped girls I can see this being problematic. BUUUUUUT, you can totally just swipe the product off the top with a lip brush if you wanted more control. It's an extra step but to me it's not a deal breaker. I mean, I'm not gonna kick it out of bed for eating crackers.

Honestly, lately I've just been really into the Too Faced brand lately. They seem to be really pushing to the forefront and they're developing really, really fun products that actually work and have adorable girly packaging that even the more hardened bad-asses would still love to have and use.

And just to add a small rant- which you can totally skip over if this doesn't really matter to you one way or another.

As a blogger, as someone who appreciates makeup and the craftsmanship that goes into it, I just want you to know that I would never recommend something I didn't genuinely spend my own money on and didn't personally try out on myself or my friends. In this case, everything listed above are things that I've personally bought with my own money and were NOT sent to me. In addition to that, I linked everything above to the Too Faced website- they are not affiliated links and I do not make any money off anything you choose to purchase from Too Faced.

If a company should ever choose to send things to me, I'll 100% be sure to tell you that that is the case. I will always be upfront with you guys. I will always tell you whether or not I like something based on how the product performs and not because I got it for free. I know what it's like to be a makeup consumer and to buy something because a blogger/youtuber told me they liked it because of a contract. It sucks and it's not fair. 

So, take this as gold- I will never sign a contract with a company I don't believe in based on their business ethics and products. I will never try to get you to buy something because I make money on it. I will never recommend something I don't personally like or use. 

This blog is my baby, and you guys are my family. I would never hand something to my mom I didn't try first on myself- and I wouldn't do it to you either.

That being said, if you're reading this Too Faced- you guys are amazing and if you'd like to send me a 20 pound case of mascara I wouldn't be opposed. Also, can you please make a waterproof Better Than Sex mascara? Guys? Are you reading this?

-SamanthaK

Things All Women Should Do

Things All Women Should Do

I know I'm getting a little presumptuous with the title here. You're probably thinking, "All women? Really? ALL women? Sam, seriously, ALL WOMEN?!"

Yeah, I'm saying it, and actually I think I'll throw men in this loop as well.

I'm not going to pretend like I know the key to happiness, or argue that buying a new shade of lipstick will suddenly make you feel confident or whatever, but I think there's a few feel good indulgences that have a deeper value.

And I think indulgences once in awhile is something that should be savored, something enjoyed deeply. I think it's easy to get lost in the day to day monotony of working or being a full time mom or even just the daily grind of netflix and chillin. (The cool kids still say that right? Am I officially too old to say shit like that?)

Roger and I were talking yesterday about moms in particular. I routinely have moms coming into the salon and looking (and I'm sorry for using this word, like really really sorry) haggard. They take care of their kids 100% of the time and rarely take the time to do anything for themselves. Often, they sit in the salon chair asking for the "usual" haircut with no blowdry because they have to go grocery shopping, take Johnny to summer camp or whatever, and then STILL have to make dinner for the family in the next hour.

And considering where Roger and I are at in our lives, kids and starting a family isn't some far off in the idea future. And like any woman with a drive for kids and a sense of worry- I read a TON of articles about kids, being a mom, and generally anything that gives me a vague idea on what's to come in the next few years. (I should note here, I'm not pregnant. I won't be for a few years, God willing. Don't get your panties in a bunch guys. I'm still holding out here on the kids thing.)

But I did read once article which really serves at the inspiration for this post and the whole thing was about going to the movie theater by yourself.

That's right. The advice given in the article was to hand over your kids to Grandma and go to the movies by yourself. 

And I FULLY agree with this idea. I don't have kids and routinely do this anyway. I think it's important, I think it's necessary. I know it sounds so simple- like, put your shit in the car and go to the movies, but it's so much more than that. 

And that's what we're gonna talk about.

This is my list (and reasons) for things all women should do for themselves, and often.

1. Go to the movies BY YOURSELF.

Not with your kids. Not with your man, or lady. Not with your mother, brother, sister, friend, etc. BY YOURSELF.

And I know what you're thinking, because I thought it too. "It's not safe."

You know what? It totally is. The worst thing that could happen to you going to a 2pm showing of Sherlock Holmes 7 is an earthquake. Maybe a car wreck. Maybe. (My movie theater is about 5 minutes away so the odds are a little slim on that one).

The first time I went to a movie by myself was strangely terrifying. I am a nervous person by definition. I rarely do things spontaneously. Sometimes getting in the car just to drive to the next town over for an errand leaves me in a panic. 

So that day I just really wanted to see this movie. No one would go with me, Roger didn't want to see it, everyone else wasn't interested but I really, really wanted to see it. It was one of the last few days it was playing and I just had to do it.

I bought myself popcorn and whatever candy I felt like, I popped into the theater to find it completely empty. (Because who goes to see a movie at 2pm? NO ONE EXCEPT ME APPARENTLY).

At first it was sort of lonely, but then I realized I could do whatever I wanted. I put my feet up on the chair in front of me, I played games on my phone, I took SHAMELESS selfies. I was liberating. It was like the first time being home alone without my parents. Terrifying, but then really fun. 

Going to the movies by yourself is great. It's a fun indulgence, it's a fun 2 hours to yourself. You are a strong, independent woman (or man? I still don't know who reads this)  when you leave that theater. And you know what? It's nice having no one with you. You don't have kids screaming, your boyfriend isn't talking non-stop through the previews THAT QUITE FRANKLY YOU WANNA SEE, and you got to see something funny and smart that sort of makes you feel like a better person. (For reference, my first movie alone was August: Osage County and it was amazing and do yourself a favor and see it because Meryl Streep is a fucking nation treasure. And if you are a southern woman with any family history of drug/alcohol abuse, it will resonate with you.)

2. Going to the hairdresser, by yourself, with no schedule afterwords.

Notice a pattern with these yet? It's about being a free woman, by yourself.

Like I said, my salon is filled with moms. Every person, aside from me, that works there has kids and about 99% of the people who come in have kids. They have schedules and things to do, and errands, and whatever.

And realistically finding a day you can set aside for yourself as a mom can be a fucking miracle, but I think it's completely and absolutely necessary. 

Because here's the dirty secret I think a lot of people don't want to talk about. Your child, your beautiful blessed miracle, the thing you so deeply care about- there will come a time when you hate them. 

There will come a day when you eat a candy bar in the closet because you don't want to share. There will come a day when they go to bed and you just sit there drinking your wine wondering why life is like this. And you know what?

That is ok. 

From this adult child, I am telling you- I know we kids can be assholes. We run your lives and take away your youth and I GET that. That's why it's so important to take a day for yourself and keep your sanity and frankly- let your kids see how important you are to them. Being away teaches them A) independence B) the world didn't explode without you there C) that you're kind of the linch pin in the whole family operation.

And again speaking as a kid, I don't think any kid in the entire world would think ill of you for wanting a salon day for yourself. No kid is gonna be like, "You know what Mom/Dad, you didn't earn that day off at all. Not even a little bit." And I'm PRETTY SURE your husband/wife would say the same thing. And if they didn't, your kids and spouse are assholes.

Sorry, not sorry.

You work very hard as a parent and some days you want a date night, or time to yourself.

The salon is kind of perfect for that. It's a place away from home, you're with friends (most of the time we have food and drinks laying around too), and you can come out feeling like a brand new person. I'm not saying to do a big change, you can totally come in and get the "usual" but treat yourself to the blow dry. Hell, get your nails done too. Spend the day with me in the salon, I will treat you to a scalp massage. (Small salon secret, if you mention you are a mom and you are in my chair- you're getting a scalp massage in the sink. You fucking earned it. You're a saint in my eyes.)

So figure this, you should get your hair done every 6-8 weeks. So every month and a half, ditch your kids with Grandma, and go to the salon. Spend the day getting your haircut, and fancy nails, and then afterword do something you'd never get to do. Buy yourself a cute bra, go to the movies, look at art, I don't know. Do something fun, frivolous. Live a whole day without a schedule. You'd be amazed how nice it feels window shopping at your leasure.

3. That thing you tried on that you'll probably only wear once but it makes you feel sexy/amazing/cool, buy it. 

Within reason, guys. Don't go for the $500 bag here.

Sometimes that cute bra at Victoria's Secret catches your eye and you're like. "Well, I'll try it on just to see."

And when you put it on it's like the lights shined down from heaven and it turns out not only do you look good in a neon green lace bralette, but those weird bondage type straps hit you in all the right places and you look like one of those cool kids who hang out on the beach and play bongos or some shit.

You know how often you'll probably wear that neon green lace bralette with the bondage straps? Probably like once or twice a month- TOPS. And you'd probably should be getting the same beige t-shirt bra you always get and frankly need cause for some reason your dog is really into chewing off bra straps lately. 

But you know what? You feel so damn cool in that thing. Sexy even. You get a glow about you and suddenly understand the whole Victoria's Secret concept. Because you know what? You do have a secret. Under that dirty, faded black tee from Target you've had for 10 years, you have an electric green bra on AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW BITCHIN' YOU LOOK UNDER THERE. Your boobs are in the right place for once and you have sexy straps that NO ONE WILL SEE, and it makes you feel so cool and confident and your shoulders finally aren't slumping for once. 

Sometimes, buying that neon green bra does things for you that nothing else can do. That $45 monstrosity of a bra can give you that little boost in the morning.

And God help you if you get the matching underwear because know every time you wear the matching set, you're like a giant confidence induced monster that everyone has to deal with because it feels like you've got your shit together and you're on top of the world. 

CAN YOU TELL I ENDED UP BUYING THE BRA?

4. Take a day off and do nothing.

This is mostly for the people who, like me, work almost every day of the week. This is for you 2 jobbers. I feel your pain and it sucks.

My week usually looks like this:

Monday: Day off.

Tuesday: Country Club (and maybe salon after)

Wednesday/Thursday: Salon

Friday: Salon (maybe country club after)

Saturday: Salon

Sunday: Country Club

My country club shifts btw are usually 8 hours and start at 6:30am.

The salon, my hours vary but for the most part it's 10-5, but sometimes I get out of there around 7 or 8.

So evenings are my precious time of cleaning and keeping my house from falling apart. (Dogs do things to houses yo'd never expect. Like, have you looked at your baseboards lately? I bet they're covered in hair like mine. I have dog hair tumble weeds in my hallways. It's insane. And if you think poodles don't shed, you are lying to yourself.)

Mondays have become my day offs. Half of the time though, they aren't. Either I'm an idiot and take a salon day (why do I do this to myself) or I have to do errands and meetings and projects and I never take the time for myself.

So when I have a day off, I try to take advantage of it. 

For me, Mondays are sort of this unspoken rule that I am not cleaning. I am not taking phone calls (within reason, like, there are emergencies, I'm sure). I am not getting out of my pajamas or leaving the house or putting on makeup. Mondays are for netflix.

YOU HEARD ME RIGHT.

Mondays are the time when I catch up on my favorite shows. Half the time, Roger puts on shows in the weekdays, I fall asleep. I'm so damn tired, you guys. 9pm is when I fall asleep half of the time because I can't stay awake. When I get home from work, I'm completely useless. I am. I'm the worst. The minute pajamas touch my body, I am laying down and zonked out.  

So on Sunday after work, I go to the grocery store and load up on foods I like and get anything else I need because Monday- I am going no where.

I lay on the bed and watch tv. I go to the couch and watch more tv. I sit at the computer and surf the web for awhile. And then I follow that rotation, with food and bathroom time sprinkled in there. (And honestly, half the time I eat it's microwave burritos and hot pockets.)

But I need that time. I need to decompress. I need to have a day without stress because otherwise it would eat me alive. And I've noticed when I keep a work schedule like that- I'm more likely to get sick or end up with migraines. It's like my body is saying, "Alright, since you can't be trusted to take care of us, we're going to shut you down."

Already in the last 2-3 months, I've had a series of different sinus infections and colds. Obviously, I can't be in charge. My body had to shut me down and tell me to take the time off.

I know it sounds counter productive, but take the day off and do nothing. Just be a lazy bum. I still have a hard time not doing ANYTHING on Mondays (which is why I write posts or do laundry or something) but at least it's not physically or mentally taxing.

5. Do something you're really proud of, even if it's something dumb.

If you're an artist, you'll get me on this one.

Do something for you that's not productive or didn't make you money. You need to do a labor of love project. You need to paint that vase, crochet that hat, sew that blanket for no other reason than you felt like it.

Everyone needs a way to blow off creative steam.

I make jewelry, if you didn't know that already. I make a lot of stuff to sell, or give as gifts but I rarely make stuff because I thought it was "fun" or "cool" or just cause I wanted to see if I could do it. 

Sometimes to keep the passion up in your work, you gotta do a passion project. That thing you'll probably never sell, or that thing that will never see the light of day or have it's moment on Instagram. You just need to do something.

If you want to start working out, don't put it on Instagram. If you're painting something, don't put it on Facebook.

This needs to be one of those things that's you're stupidly proud of, and don't let anyone else see it and give you advice on it, or give you any critique or praise.

You need to self-praise and you can't let anyone sway your opinion on that thing you're doing/making. 

This need to be the bubble you can't let anyone else pop. You need that confidence. You need that voice inside you telling you how crazy amazing this is. Sometimes you just need something to remind you how special and amazing you are.

I have a few pieces like that. I have a few pieces of jewelry and a couple sets of colors or hairstyles that I purposely didn't take pictures of. It's just something I can mentally think about or see in my jewelry box and remind myself that I am really talented.

I realize this sounds super conceited, but have you ever realized how often you're critiqued? Like really? I work in an industry where you are constantly judged by the way you present yourself. And my job is tough in the way that my art is immediately judged by the person wearing it. It's not like I make something, drop it off and then never hear about it again. I'm being watched and judged AS I'm doing it. And my other job is the same- every drink I made it immediately tasted and judged. 

As workers, we are constantly under judgement. And it was be hard to hold confidence under that scrutiny. 

I think it's important we do a self involved project, and feel self involved about it. It can be a really good thing to have something for yourself that really validates you as a person.

I like creating because it validates that I'm am artist, and that I can be really good at it. 

Working out makes me feel healthier and better about my body and I don't need other people to notice I've lost weight because I know the work I've put in.

I don't want or need validation from outside sources and you shouldn't either.

And don't talk yourself out of it just because it's something "dumb". Who cares if your talent is making grilled cheese because you know what- you make the best fucking grilled cheese sandwich in your entire family and no one can take that away from you. You are a grilled cheese queen and you should honor yourself like one. (Note: Can someone make me a grilled cheese queen hat? Because I would wear the shit of that.)

I guess the takeaway of this list is- do whatever you want, take time for yourself, even if it's dumb.

Also, go to the movies more often.

-SamanthaK

Why Your Hair Costs SO Much

Why Your Hair Costs SO Much

I just want to air some grievances.

For those of you who are hairdressers, this post will just be a lot of what you already know (and probably complain about).

And for those who have never had the pleasure of doing someone's hair- please understand this post is not meant to make you feel bad. My sassy demeanor and straight forward-ness is not an attack on your character, it's merely my way of phrasing.

This post though, is meant to help you understand why I (and other cosmo's) charge the way we charge.

First of all, let me tell you some things you may or may not already know.

For the hourly worker, this is how your paycheck breaks down:

First, you start with your grand total income- and most people make minimum wage, however some have had raises. 

Then come the expenses in the month, which employers (usually) automatically withdraw from your check. This covers liabilities, insurance, and taxes (taxes, though you can get back during tax season in April).

But those expenses cover a multitude of things- slip and falls, chopping off a finger, someone robs the bank you work at and shoots you, mental distress, etc. Ex: If you fall at work and smack your noggin, you can go to a hospital and the insurance covers you because it happened AT WORK. (This is a very generalized summation, but you feel me)

Salaried employees are much the same. As long as you work under a company, there are certain things that are covered for you, or you can opt to get even better insurance through your employers.

With paychecks, you can also ask to have more money withheld so you can get a better tax payoff in the beginning of the year, you can have it directly deposited into your bank account, etc.

You have a lot of options when it comes to working for another person when it comes to your check and money.

So here's how hairdressers come in.

First of all, to even go to school and take state board, we pay roughly between $15,000 and $20,000. It depends on the school, but when you factor in extra training and the costs to even APPLY to state board, it adds up and fast. Especially when it comes to equipment because no matter what you do- you will eventually have to replace combs, or a flat iron, or whatever the case is.

We have 3 general options for making money.

A) Rent a booth in a salon, which costs a lot- but we get to be our own bosses.

B) Work commission, which can be anywhere from 50/50 to 70/30 depending on the salon. We are technically our own bosses, but we are still paying out a lot of money at the end of the month.

C) Salaried, where we make minimum wage working for a corporate chain. Think places like Sports Cuts, Super Cuts, JC Penney Salon, Ulta's, etc.

Category C automatically gets everything I talked about before, because you make a paycheck every month (or 2 weeks, I don't know your life.)

But when it comes to A and B, this is where those options differ:

Commission covers jack, you guys. The only reason commission exists is for you to build up clientele without being strapped with monthly rent. This is great for people starting out but it's not great in the long term when you have a busy booking schedule.

And on top of that, a lot of salons will offer to up the percentage of commission to cover the costs of buying your supplies- like hair color, developers, perms, etc. 

That's great and all, until you realized you worked on a $200 client to only make $100 because you opted for a 50/50 deal.

(Some places will try to gouge you on commission, take heed.)

Rent is a little different. I'm basically paying for the space and the pleasure of doing my own thing, being my own boss, and practicing my business how I see fit.

But now let's talk about the money break down:

I don't make a paycheck. My money depends on me hustling my name out there to draw people into my shop.

So there is no pull from my check to cover for insurance, or taxes. None. Whatever I make, I must claim on my taxes- but because I don't pay into them bi-weekly, I have to pay a lump sum at the end of the year.

This could be hundreds, or thousands of dollars all at once- because it depends on how much I made.

My medical insurance is also separate and not covered by a corporate entity.

In case you forgot, most medical insurances are out the nose, crazy expensive.

Slip and fall incidences are mostly my own problem at that point. The owner of the salon or space will usually have insurance on the building, but it's mostly so that if someone slips and falls- the owner can't be sued.

So now that we got that out of the way, let's talk about supplies.

Here's what the average set of supplies costs me at a beauty supply retailer. 

(Allow me to rip the veil off and be crazy honest)

Scissors range anywhere from $100 (for really terrible quality) to $1000 (for amazing quality). My school set costed me $700.

Hair color is roughly $8 a tube (usually 2 oz). Some are $6, some are $10, but it really depends on the company.

Developers are between $5-$10 a container.

Shampoos and Conditioners for a gallon are around $20-$30 a piece.

Any good flat iron worth it's salt is $80 or more.

Blowdryers are over $100 at least. (Mine was wholesaled at $200, but I got it for $100 on a black Friday sale.)

Brushes are anywhere between $5 and $20, just depends on the type of brush (and you need more than just a couple)

But then you factor in combs, bowls, brushes, capes, towels, etc... it adds up, and it adds up quickly- ESPECIALLY working your first month when you have to buy all of those things preemptively. 

So let me break it down for you as a client.

First of all, you are coming into a salon or having me come to your home for the pleasure of being pampered and having someone take care of you. If you wanted to only pay $20, you can happily march your ass to the drugstore and get your own color. I'll be here when you botch it and you have to pay me $100 to fix your $15 dye job.

Sorry, not sorry.

I have fixed so many dye jobs, I can say with confidence, "You get what you pay for".

And lets not forget either, I have thousands upon thousands of hours of training and a year and a half of working under my belt- and I do really good work.

Hair and Makeup

Hair and Makeup

 Cut, color, styling

Creative Color

And there's a lot more (I'm just really bad at taking pictures at work).

So when you come in as a client, and sit in my chair- this is what it costs me to do the work.

Highlights:

First of all, highlights start to finsh can be anywhere from 2-4 hours of work depending on how much hair you have, how dark it is, etc.

Lightening powder costs about $15-20 bucks for a tub and I'm using around 4 or 5 scoops of it (but most likely a lot more if your hair is long), let's say $5 just for the math.

total so far: $5

Foils are roughly $10 for a big pack. Some are cheaper, some are way more. For the sake of the math, I'm averaging. I go through those all the time too. So lets say your high and lowlights are around 1/4 of a 500 sheet pack. So that's $2.50 in foils.

total so far: $7.50

Any other color you use, and you will use some either for toning your blonde, or adding lowlights or something like that is an $8 tube (I'd probably use half), plus the $5 developer to activate the color. If it's toner only, it's about $4.

total so far with lowlights and a toner: $20.50

Hair product costs anywhere between $5-$30. Most styling agents by Paul Mitchell for example are sold to stylists at around $8-10, their gallon size shampoos are around $30 with tax. 

So between the shampoo, conditioner, my beloved cutting oil, mousse, creams, etc- I'm spending probably around $3 of product one way or another. On average, a stylist will use around 3-5 products on you. Shampoo, conditioner, something that will speed up the dry time or heat protects, something to smooth, curl, whatever you want, and then something to finish (hairsprays, oils, etc)

total to far: $23.50

This is all assuming I already have towels, bowls, brushes, etc.

Grand total in costs: $23.50

What I charge in a salon: $110

Total profit: $86.50

Roughly- I only make 79% of what I charge.

Now lets just so a straight all over color.

Color, developer, and gloves are all I need.

Grand total in costs: $11(ish) 

What I charge in a salon: $40

Total profit: $29(ish)

Roughly- I only make 73% of what I charge.

Where this DOES tip the scale in my favor is haircuts.

Haircuts at my salon are $20, and like I said before, I spend $3 in product on you, so I make a pure profit of $17.

Now I realize you're looking at this and saying, "Why are you complaining? You still make good money!"

And I do, I agree. But here's exactly why hairdressers charge like they do.

While you're working 40 hours a week (full time) at lets say, $10 an hour, you're making $400 a week. With taxes and craziness, I'm just roughly subtracting $50 a week. (I'm probably going overboard but whatever. For the SAKE OF THE MATH).

$350 a week x 4 weeks in a month= $1400 a month.

This covers additional insurances, (maybe even corporate insurance, who knows) and your taxes.

I make anywhere between $500 a month and $2000 a month. And here's why-

I do not not get "sick days" that are a paid. I do not get vacation days. I do not get insurance unless I provide it for myself. If something breaks, I have to replace it myself, if I use color and supplies, I am paying for it. And when it comes to taxes, I'm basically withdrawing $200 from my funds per month to pay them.

I don't get the luxuries that comes with corporate living. 

So on the months when I make $500, it's usually like this month where I had a sinus infection and missed days, or saved up for awhile to take a much needed vacation. Or frankly, something breaks, my supplies suddenly went up in price (which they did recently), or something just comes up.

Health insurance, by the way, on average costs around $200-400 a month.

So when I set my prices, I set them for a reason and it's not because I'm trying to fleece you of your hard earned money. I know hair is an expensive upkeep and I'm lucky in that I have training that makes me irreplaceable. You need me to give you a good haircut because you can't do it yourself.

So for those of you who sit in my chair, stare at me in the mirror and have the balls to say things like, "I can do it myself cheaper", "You're too expensive", and fight me on my prices-

You are the worst. And you can (censored) off.

I would never go into your line of work and tell you you should earn less. Never. You're telling me that I'm not worth your time or money. When you say I charge too much, you're implying that my skills aren't up to snuff.

I am not a swap meet, or antique market- my prices are not up for debate. This is not a fun job where I get to play with hair all day and piss away money. This is my job, and my career at that. This is where I make money to support my home, save for my wedding, and plan for my future. I don't get to have an automatic set up for retirement, or 401k's unless I do them on my own. And I can't put away money if I don't make any.

I think people get surprised when they ask me what I do when someone haggles me on the price, because my answer is simple.

If someone is asking me to charge them less money for a service that still costs me the same amount of time to perform, then they can leave. 

I'd rather them not take up my time when I could fill that spot for another person who's willing to pay- than to take what they're willing to give me.

I'm trained in color, cutting, and chemicals and I have all the knowledge to perform them safely. If they're willing to risk their safety and happiness to save a buck- then they can get to it and get out of my chair.

I've sent girls home before when they want to haggle me on prices. I have a set price sheet on the wall and if they don't like it- there are plenty, PLENTY of other places they can go.

And to top it all off, when it comes to hair and makeup- I understand there isn't a whole lot of cost involved in that on my end. Updos are all bobby pins ($5) and product ($3) and makeup is probably just a couple bucks in terms of product. Why the costs are so high on that is that you're removing me from the salon to perform a task (weddings, proms, etc). In the time it takes for me to airbrush faces on 5 girls and do all of their hair- it's around 5 hours, maybe more. 5 hours in a salon could potentially earn me $500 in the right setting.

So when I charge each girl $80-100 dollars, it's because that's what I would have made it in the salon. Makeup artists and stylists work out of the salon WHEN THEY KNOW THEY'LL STILL MAKE MONEY. That's how it works! 

Do you think we're really going to spend money on gas and time packing our kits to come to your out of town wedding, pay for our own hotel rooms and then only make a couple hundred? THAT BARELY COVERED THE COSTS OF JUST GETTING THERE.

If you're a bride and you want to have someone come and do everyone's hair and makeup, budget in $100 a girl. Maybe like $80 if you're lucky. But if you want to spend less- find a cousin to do it. Sorry, I don't and can't work for less. I can't. Keeping a kit is pricey (makeup in particular), gas is pricey, hotels are pricey- and I ain't working for free. Sorry. (Unless you're a friend and I've offered to do it as a wedding present. That's a different story entirely.)

I understand that a lot of this info doesn't circulate around. A LOT of people don't understand exactly how expensive my job can be on my end, and then don't understand the implications of wanting "discounts" and "deals". My prices are flexible- they really are. I could easily go to my price sheet and write down a new cost for highlights at any time- but that doesn't mean I want you to do it for me.

To make this even more infuriating...

I work in a very small town next to a pretty good size city. In the city, rent is between $600-1000 for a booth depending on where you go. Their haircuts are $40 and WAY up, their highlights start at $100 and are more likely $150-200. 

My haircuts are $20 and my highlights start at $75. You could leave with highlights and a haircut for less than $100. So when someone has the audacity to ask for a lower price, I'm floored.

I'm already a low price and I keep it that way not because of my skill level but because I know people are hurting and hair is truly a luxury. I want people to afford to get their hair done. I know how powerful hair (and makeup) can be and what it can do for a person. It's a game changer and I want that for everyone. That being said, I can't work for free. I can't. Not with the lifestyle I want to live (house, 2.5 kids, dog, white picket fence). 

So, before you (censored) haggle and fight a price- ASK someone what it costs them to do that job. Genuinely, ask. They will be happy to tell you.

For me, I don't make a huge percentage off my income. I could make much, much more if I wanted to.

So don't come into my salon and haggle me, because I will send you packing.

#sorrynotsorry

-SamanthaK

The Wedding Series: Finding the Dress (part 1)

The Wedding Series: Finding the Dress (part 1)

I'm not even going to lie, I am so scared to write about finding the dress because I know this is the part where you guys begin to polarize. I also have a sneaky feeling everything I hate is everything you guys as readers like.

SO ALLOW ME TO TROLL YOU FOR A MINUTE.

Let's start with the same advice I gave you guys in the beginning post:

Go on your pinterest and look around at wedding dresses and begin to pin whatever you find attractive. My advice, pin whatever floats your boat. Doesn't matter if you only like the top, bottom, lace, buttons, whatever- just pin it.

My second piece of advice I think is what's going to make you guys sort of confused.

Don't narrow anything down, instead- go to a dress store and try things on.

Yeah, I know. The best plan of action for wedding dresses is normally going in with a game plan but instead, I offer you this:

Wedding dresses are not like normal dresses. You might have the body for anything and yet put on that empire waited dress and find that it actually makes you look pregnant. You might think you're too straight up and down to pull off a sexy dress and then put on a corseted dress and find you love your (temporary) hourglass figure.

Wedding dresses are a little strange. Sometimes it's the dress you didn't want that ends up blowing you away. 

And let me also give you the pep-talk:

You are a beautiful woman (or man, I'm not here to tell you how to live your life). You have someone who loves you SO MUCH as you are, that they want to wake up every day to the person you are right now- size 22 or not. That person probably couldn't care less that your left boob is slightly smaller than the other, that your waist isn't 29 inches, or that when you walk your thighs rub against each other like they couldn't possibly be separated.

The reason wedding dress shopping can be really frustrating is that we have an image of our bodies that is mostly negative and we're trying on a dress that's not only a representation of who we are as people right now in this stage in our lives, but everyone is going to be staring at you in that dress and will see pictures of you in that dress for many, many years.

It can be a daunting task, and we already make it hard on ourselves for not appreciating what our bodies look like.

Please, please, please, don't get hung up on sizing. I know sometimes hearing we're a 16 and not a 14 can crush our spirits a little- especially when we've been working out for 2 months and finally squeezed back into a smaller size.

Let me tell you some facts about wedding dresses that might put you at ease:

Wedding dresses (primarily) are a made to order business. 

Meaning, when you try on wedding dresses- that is not exactly how it's going to look on you. When you find a dress you love, it's rare that you take it off the shelf and home. Sample sizes are typically quite small or quite large. So when you find a dress that you love, you get to order it in your size and not even specifically size sometimes- but actual body measurements. (That's usually for designer or "high end" dresses).

And NORMALLY what a seller will explain to you is that it's smarter to order a size up. This is not supposed to be a blow to your ego. What happens is a normal body is not normally a size 12 straight across. You might have a size 12 hip, a size 10 waist, and a size 14 top. I mean, who knows. It could be any combination of things. (This would be on par with buying a size 16 jean and a medium size t-shirt, or something like that). 

So the smartest way to go when it comes to getting your dress fitted is to buy the size that fits you at your "biggest" and have the rest tailored to your body. 

In the long run- this creates a dress fitted specifically to YOUR body and avoids you trying to pad the top, stretch the bottom, etc.

Sizes are not exactly the same across the board.

Here's the "skinny". Dress sizes almost always depend on the designer. Some run small, some run large, some are on the dot. And mostly, the dresses run a tad small. You will most likely have to try on dresses that are a size bigger. 

Again, don't get hung up on the size. Trying on wedding dresses means mostly squeezing into small dresses and having them clip the dress to your bra, or trying on dresses too big for you and having them clamp the extra material in industrial sizes car clamps.

Sorry, I probably ruined the mystery. Whatever.

And just for budget reference, because it's heartbreaking to watch this sometimes:

Just know almost 99% of wedding dresses will need to be fitted/tailored and that roughly begins around $400-500 dollars. 

And also know any time you add beading, lace, or accessories- the price of your wedding attire goes up an insane amount.

So be careful looking at beaded dresses when you KNOW your budget is only $800 or whatever.

SO, when it came to trying on dresses- here's what happened to me.

First off I should say it's very, very important to understand certain things about you and certain things about the people in your family you would want going with you to try on dresses.

Here's what I know about myself, and it's a bit painful to admit: I am easily swayed by my family and I almost always do what they say because I think they know what's best for me. I am also incredibly sensitive despite my cavalier exterior. 

And here's what I know about my family, and it's also painful to admit: They can be very pushy and easily excited. They love to run with an idea because they are incredibly creative people and they LOVE to throw parties.

It's also good to mention that almost every woman in my family has a different dress in mind for me to wear. So it made the process a little confusing. 

I should also mention I have a lot of women in my family and going wedding dress shopping would be like 20 girls crammed in a room. (Which, 20 girls is a terrible idea. Has no one watched Say Yes to the Dress? The first thing they say is don't bring a lot of people.)

So when it came to the first "try-on", I wanted someone there who (wow, this is going to sound terrible) really doesn't care that much about my wedding.

I should soften that blow a little. What I mean to say is, she cares about my feelings about the wedding, but the actual details of the wedding doesn't blow her one way or the other. She doesn't care if the wedding is purple and in an orchard, or a black tie event at the white house. Her only concern is basically, "what do you like?"

Blake, bless her tiny black heart, ended up being the perfect person to take with me to the most stressful bridal dress appointment because her only concern was if a dress looked "right" on my body and if it didn't- get it off now.

And one other thing I loved about taking Blake was that she's very observant. After the bridal appointment we sat down to lunch and were looking through my pinterest and all of a sudden she goes, "You know what I noticed? You pick a lot of Great Gatsby sort of things."

And she was totally right. I like beads in geometric shapes. I picked things with a more laid back silhouette. I really like New Orleans in the 20's/30's.

Blake, the most cynical person I probably know, should probably be a wedding dress consultant or something. (I mean, what else you gonna do with that art degree Blake?)

For reference, at the moment I am between a 14 and 16 (finally loosing weight, yaaaaay!). Most of the dresses I tried on were 18's and had to be cinched a little, or were 14-16's and were a little tight. 

Again, it takes a lot to embarrass me and it's rare that I get too hung up on my weight or looks. So I think the sales girl was a little excited when I was like, "as long as I can get it on so I can see roughly what it looks like- I don't care what size it is."

And let me also say this about my experience- my first time trying dresses, I really didn't know what I wanted and I just really wanted to see different styles on my body so I knew what I liked at all. In terms of the beading or lace or looks of the dress- I didn't care. I was only concerned about what shape looks good on me and then I would know where to go with it.

First, I tried on something which had a full lace back and lace straps, which I liked the most, but the dress itself definitely wasn't for me. It was head to toe lace, it was covered in small beads. It was a lot to take in.

And guys, at this point- the first dress you try on will kind of knock you back for a second. It will be the first time you feel like a bride, it will be the first time you see yourself in a white ballgown (unless you were a debutante I suppose), and it's generally the first time your family will see you in the fluffy, gooey, dress.

Most people in your group will cry.

On average, most girls pick the first dress they put on. (I think it's because they get too excited and pick the first one that gives them that "feeling" but they mistake excitement for "feeling." Call me a cynic.)

Another dress I tried was an empire waisted, chiffon number and while it was not flattering at all and some would be worried it was a shotgun wedding, I loved the chiffon bottom. I loved the way the bottom moved and looked. 

So I was like, "Ok, lace top and chiffon bottom. Good to know."

Unfortunately since it's been wedding season, that particular store sold a lot of dresses in my size. So I was a tiny bit "s.o.l" on trying certain things. BUT she was very helpful in showing me options so I could at least see how the top or bottom looked on me. Very nice store, very nice lady.

So 3 or 4 dresses in, I had tried an A-line shape, empire waist, something strapless, something with a strap, a mermaid tight little number, and then the drop waist. 

The drop waist was the only thing I have a picture of for some reason.

Ironically, this was the dress that made my body look insane but I actually hated the dress the more I looked at it. 

ENJOY THE PUDGY ARMS, HATERS.

I'm probably breaking all kinds of rules showing you guys this, but whatever. I have no shame.

So the drop waist corset back made my boobs and waist look amazing.

And to be fair the beading and lace is divine, in terms of quality.

But oh my God, the longer I was thinking about it through the day, the more I hated it. And when I showed my family pictures of the dress, they all LOVED it so much as even sending me websites where I could order it or pictures online of other brides who wore it.

I know it sounds terrible, but I'm glad my family wasn't there, because I would have ended up with this dress (I mean, there are worse things in life, but COME ON.)

All in all, I think I've figured out what I wanted based on this appointment and I'm glad I did it "relatively" by myself. (Blake was there, but she was also really great about asking me how I felt in something before making her own personal comments.)

I think what I really want is to try on some more dresses in the style I think I like most, and take my family to THAT appointment- because while I enjoy my womens very much, I think they really want to be at the appointment where I actually pick the dress and they get to be a part of THAT special moment and not the other try ons where I'm sweating to death and getting very agitated.

Also, I did want to share this piece of advice given to me by my consultant:

It's good to try on dresses with different styles, but only do 5 or 6 and then stop. You don't want to get overwhelmed and have a negative experience. 

And I totally agree. I tried on I think 5 dresses at her shop and 3 more at another place and by that point I was really, really done. I think it becomes a blurry mess of dresses and by the end of it you're just sort of frustrated. 

So, bullet points:

-Try on different styles

-Narrow it down from there

-Try on only a few dresses at a time

-Take people who are willing to hear you before they give opinions (your friend who has decided you're only wearing a ball gown and nothing else needs to stay home)

-Don't get sad or discouraged, there's a million wedding dresses and a million bridal shops. You will find your dress.

-This should be fun and enjoyable, try not to get hung up on dumb things like sizes or fits.

I'm glad I tried a little of everything because now I have a more directed view on what I'm doing.

For those curious, it's more like this:

And for those extra curious: Both of these pictures are basically the same dress with a beaded or lace overlay piece. I realized this an embarrassing amount of weeks later. 

BTW, for those who are probably like, "Everyone tries a ballgown, where's the ballgown?"

Here it is and it was hilarious.

-SamanthaK