Just a Plain Old Blog: Throw Back Thursday

Throwback Thursday: Core

So yesterday after school I spent some time with the social networking club. (This was mostly in part because my core teacher/mentor twisted my arm and wanted me to talk about blogs. Which is hilarious, as this blog is what? a week old, tops?)

I did my best explaining what I want this blog to be, and what I hope it becomes- and it must have been what they wanted to hear because now I'm in the mix for relaunching the school's youtube channel and maybe starting a blog for it. WHAT, I KNOW. APPARENTLY, I'M KINDA GOOD AT THIS.

The topic migrated to Core, and seeing as it was Throwback Thursday, I wanted to talk about my core experience.

Now, I really wanted to find pictures for you guys, but I have literally none. I was so scared to pull out my cell phone in core and get in trouble that I have NO photos. I think the only one I have was when Stephanie made us take pictures of our first perms. I think she worded it like, "No, seriously. Go get your phones out of your lockers. It's ok, I won't bust you."

Keep in mind, Core is also a long program. You're in Core learning EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING in a matter of 6 weeks, then you move to the Adaptive where you drill in those skills all day every day, then halfway through the year you bump to Creative where you get to take those skills and then BREAK ALL THE RULES AND DO COOL LOOKING HAIRCUTS. Can you tell I'm close to being a Creative?

To put this into a better analogy- Core is where you have a spark. Core is when everything is fresh and new and exciting, and sparking up is easy. Being an Adaptive is a nurturing process- you have to somehow get that spark to turn into a flame and sometimes the spark burns out, it happens to the best of us. It's easy to spark up again, it really is- so try not to be discouraged. Creative though, that's when the flame turns into a fire. You're way closer to graduation, and a real job, and then suddenly that fire turns into an inferno and by that time, you're out the door. 

So, like I said, Core was easy... for most people.

Here's a sad little background story:

I had an incredibly painful divorce a few years ago. It left me in a state where I didn't want to go outside for MONTHS. I was scared to be around people because it felt like their talking was a constant static. I could hear them talking, but my mind was going too fast to hear it. What were they thinking of me? What was I putting out there? Did I look like a bitter divorcee? Did I act normal? My life was a constant worry of trying to wade through other people's thoughts that I couldn't have one for myself- and I couldn't produce a coherent thought. 

It was, to put it lightly, hell.

And right before I was to go into Paul Mitchell for my first day for Core, I still had tremendous social anxiety. Crowds were the worst and of course as everyone knows, Core is when you're locked in a room with 15 other people all day every day. 

So the night before, I cried. I cried big, alligator, swan song tears. Another anxiety of mine is starting something and not being able to finish. I'd rather never start than never finish. I told myself, "You're not doing this. Just call the school tomorrow and tell them it's not happening."

But when I woke up the next morning, I was so tired- I was on auto pilot. I got dressed in the outfit I had laid out, I grabbed my book bag and I drove 25 minutes to school. I don't remember anything about getting there. I just assumed I did all this stuff because I didn't show up to school naked.

Core the first few days were rough. I kept pretending to go to the bathroom so I could be alone for 3 minutes. It was like running a marathon with your mind. But Stephanie, my teacher/mentor/resistant arm twister, was gentle. She was encouraging and quietly pushed me to continue. I don't think she knew what she was doing. In fact in the 8 months she's known me, I don't think I've ever told her about my anxiety. And I'm grateful for her constantly twisting my arm and making me do more and be better.

And on the flip side, I was in a small and very rare core. We were a group that ACTUALLY liked each other. It can be hard, with so many girls in a small room- in fact, it could have been a war zone. Somehow I managed to get into a Core group where everyone was supportive and genuinely wanted us to make it through together. We went to lunch together, we studied together, and 8 months later we're still friends. I know personally, I've made a solid group of friends there that I know I'll carry with me when school's over.

I was really lucky. Had it been another Core, another teacher, another year, I would have dropped out. I would have quit on a career that was so obviously right for me. I would have never experienced fashion shows, behind the scenes work, photo-shoots... I could have missed out on something amazing.

Shout out to Core 60! Danysha, Michael, Megan, Jae, Melly, Kaylene, Irene, Blanca, Maria, and Alexis. And of course, shout-out to Stephanie (who literally twisted my arm into something amazing).

Happy Throwback Thursday,

SamanthaK

(I promise I'll do my tutorials and fun stuff soon).